Wednesday, April 01, 2009

ThErE R oNlY 2 tHiNgS i H8...

.:hOw DaRe JoO?!?:.

mY gAsH, dId JoO rEaD dAt "cHiP" rTiClE by "cHeAp ChOw"? WaT a ChEaP!!! hE mAdE fUn Of Uz FlIpS kSe We R a N8sHun dW f TsImAy. I h8 RACIST! dEr R oNlI 2 tHiNgS i H8... RACIST n CHEKWA! NaKkHyA nMn YnG iSa JaN. kAlA kNg CnNg mGlEnG. PaNgEt NmN.

DiR ChEaP cHoW, u InSuLtInG mY cOuNtRy. DaS nAt RyT. sO yOu No WaT? i InSuLtInG jOoR cOuNtRy, BeC iM NOTHING lYk JoO.

I nAt RaCiSt LyK u, U yElLoW, bUcKtOoT bEhO! No WnDr u GoT fYrD fRm BBC, bEcAuSe u OnLi 98.7% ChEkWa. 1.3%, MELAMIN! tApUs, kInAkAiN nYu CaTs. GiNaGaWa NyU sIoPaO. ih8cHu! ih8 RACIST! RACIST lYk U cHiNeSe! YoU pRoBaBlY s2PiD kSe U kIl BaBiEs wId MELAMIN aNd LeAd. YaK! u OnLi WrYt KsE u cNt ToK gUd EnGlIsH uNlYk Us FlIpS, wE NUMBER ONE iN eNgLiSh, No S2pId AcCenT. SuPpLiEs PaLtY!

dEaR fLiPs, LeT uS nAt ToLeR8 DiS iNsUlT bY cHeAp. HeS jSt A fIlThY, dSgUsTnG, COMMUNISTA! RACIST PA! wE r NaT a N8sHuN oP sErBaNtS. yAk! DatS sO sK h2o! bAkIt? CnU b SyA? wLa SyA kRptN mLiItN tYnG mGa PnoY. mAsAmA mGnG RACIST. pRuBlEmA sA mGa BEHO n GnYn, mLiIt MaTa, KaYa DiMaKiTa PrBlEmA sA sArIlE. lEt Us ShOw DeM nA cLaSs mGa PnOy. UnLyK dEm Na RACIST, wE r BeTtEr DaN oL oP dEm AnD mOrE sUpEriOr. IsAmA nArIn nTeN aNg MgA mBbHnG bUmBaY, mGa KrImInAl N nEgRo, sAka MgA kUriPt N iLuKaNu.

SaBi NiLa, NAG-SORRY N dW sHa. E nU nGyN? cHiNeZe PrEn ShA, sO RACIST pReN sHa. MgA RACIST, SALOT! iLiGtAs NtEn C lOuIsA! kWaWa NmN sHa! So YoU, CHEAP, u TaKeS cArE oF uRsElF, KsE bCoZ oF u, D hElPeRs WiLl Go On hYGiEnE! oUr GoVerNmEnT wIl MaKeS sUrE u WoNt GeT aWaY w DiS. vOtE 4 pIa! ShE tEh AwEsOmEzOrZ! sKa mGsUnTuKaN nLnG kAyO nI gOlEz, MkTa MuNg HnHnAp Mu.

DaT iS AlL i WaNt 2 SaY. I oNlI h8 2 tHiNgS, n CHEAP CHOW iS bOtH RACIST and CHEKWA. sO i H8 hIm DoUblE. bEc He CHEAP n UgLeH. PiNoYs, LeTs B pRoUd Of OuR gReAt CoUnTrY, aNd Gr8 pNoYs LyK PACQUIAO wHo AlWaYs FiGht FoR oUr CoUnTrY kHeT d Ku LaM kNg AlInG cHaNnEl ShA lAlAbAn, PAPI WILLIE bCoZ hE aLwYs ThInK oP d PoOr PnOyS kYa He GiVeS sO mUcH mOnEy 2 dEm (WaLa Un DaYa! D uN 22O!), AnD oP kOrS, PGMA. mAy ShE sTiLl Be In ChArGe AfTeR 2010. AnG sAyA-sAyA, dBa?

P.S. nGa PlA pOwH. aNu PoWh AnG "SATIRE"? yUn Pu B aNg PiNrI2nG SATAY? KsE "sAtIrE" dAw UnG sInUlAt nI CHEAP, eH d kU lAm KnG aNu YuN.

P.P.S. AdD nYo PoWh aKu Sa BlOgRoLl NyU! mWaHuGs! :x :x :x


Hannah said...

oh noh... the constant "powh" and the CrAzY LetTEr random CAPS-ing

OneTamad said...

I got this far: "SuPpLiEs PaLtY!"

And then I lol'd.

Kel Fabie said...

I shall never wish to write in that manner, ever again. Not even as a joke. :P

Neil said...

Um our majesty, Louisa is Indonesian :)


eraserhead said...

parang mas nakakainsulto pa tong blog mo sa pinoy. kasi sinasatire mo sarili mong country.seryoso inde cya nakakatawa.pero actually totoo yung text spelling at random capsing with karagdagang "w" at "h".ndi prin ako natawa men.manuod na lang kayo ng bubble gang.

Kel Fabie said...

Hindi pwede hiritan ang Pinoy ng foreigner.

Hindi rin pwede hiritan ng Pinoy ang Pinoy.

So, dear eraserhead... walang taong may karapatang magsalita laban sa Pinoy? Ganun na tayo kaperpekto?!?

Hanep naman.

Ade said...


Then you totally miss the point of satire.

Prudence said...

My gosh, I can't believe you finished writing this in text language. Honestly, sumakit ang ulo ko. Hahaha.

But seriously, I don't get why so many people are so bothered by that article. And I hope people will stop using the excuse, "we should talk only positive things about our country and our countrymen because not doing so, only adds to the negativity we've been receiving for so long." That's bull. How can changes be made if nobody is going to point it out?

honeytonguedharpy said...

ahahahaha! thanks for this. obviously not everyone can appreciate it. i just hope they can remember that we are all entitled. last time i looked the Philippines is still a free country and we each have a right to our opinions, to find the humor in the situation, to poke fun at each other, not jump at someone with an opposing view (as i saw in the other blog--yes, this is an ill -placed shout-out to IndolentIndio.

eraserhead, take the song's advice, easy ka lang! uptight + touchy isn't the equivalent of patriotic. it doesn't help matters. i get pissed off when people/cars cross at the red light or when cops try to intimidate me for lagay in place of a ticket. small things, sure. but these are small things i can do something about. refusing to give lagay and following simple traffic rules, in the hopes that this will help me follow the bigger, more important stuff. be a better citizen. contribute. be of use.

now, since no one really pays attention to the preachy, why not write it this way? it got my (and i'm sure, a few others) attention and reminded me why it's important to keep at it. that we're worth it. that i still love this often stinky hole we call home.

so more power to us all. and here's to thoughtful blogging!

Kel Fabie said...

@g: Thanks. I'm glad that this country still has enough people who don't take themselves too seriously.

sarah said...

98.7% ChEkWa. 1.3%, MELAMIN!