Monday, February 14, 2011

Burying Hatchets: The Unsent Series, Volume 3, Part IV

.:Burying The Hatchets: The Unsent Series, Volume 3, Part IV:.

Reaching out to you...

Dear Audacity,

It took me two years to be where I am at this point and to be able to look myself in the mirror and say that I'm ready. But I'm ready.

Maybe you're not yet ready. Maybe so much has indeed transpired that it's difficult to just go back to what we once had, sans the googly eyes and the romance.

But it's just not fair to us if we just became footnotes in each other's lives.

I've dealt with the pain and the bitterness for long enough, and it's time to face the pain head-on, if only to remind myself that I am a changed man now, for the better. And though all these changes won't make you come back to me, these changes are for myself, and no longer for you. Today is an exact year from the day that you utterly shattered me, and now, I face you a different man.

But it's just not fair to us if we just became footnotes in each other's lives.

We're cool now. I'm glad to find it in me to be able to meet you on the street and not look at you with regret or disdain any longer. It was what it was, and now, it will be what it will be. Maybe it hasn't occurred to you yet, and maybe it hasn't been as real to you as it is to me at the moment, but I won't press the issue. Time will reveal the truth, anyways, and I know that you'd come to realize it.

So I shall let it be, and just leave the door open for friendship. After all this time, I discovered for myself that there is no room for pride in the face of something that is special and once-in-a-lifetime. In time, I hope you discover that for yourself as well. And when you do, I'll just be around. Like I always will.

Let time teach us the lessons we need to learn, that we may be fair to us in the future. That’s all I ask.

... Do you feel it too?

Dear Socrates,

The wounds are still fresh, but I want you to realize one thing: just because I made amends does not magically erase everything you have done that has led us to this point.

I've examined my conscience and I know where I've gone wrong. I sincerely hope you would do the same, because if you keep making the same mistakes, then I would no longer be surprised why you keep on ending up the way you always do.

I don't think I'm quite ready to be cool with you again. And I don't think we've been through enough for it to really matter that much in the end. I barely knew you, and I made the sorry mistake of giving my all yet again, only to discover that I was wrong. I should have known better, but I didn't.

And now, you close the doors and make it seem like you were 100% right, I was 100% wrong. You’re young. I guess that means I need to cut you some slack. But someday, you’ll realize that from the moment I read you, I knew something about you that you fail to realize about yourself to this very day. And when you finally learn what it is I know, you would understand why you get this much latitude with me when others would not even get a second look from me after everything that has happened.

I’ve decided that 2011 has to be a year of forgiveness (With one exception in mind.), and that it would be I doling it out at this point. What you do with that is not something I could control anymore, unfortunately.

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