Today's LSS of WTFery...

.:A Pet Peeve...:.

Kmh kme ng mg numin, ninm nmn...

While transcribing lyrics for today's post, I ran into a site with "lyrics" like these...

Bah Gawd, what is it with people who type online as if they don't have a full QWERTY keyboard?!?

There are five freaking vowels in the alphabet. Use them!!!

.:Sometimes, Translating Lyrics Yields The Weirdest Results...:.

First, lemme introduce you to one of the newer R&B songs out of there...

Bartender
by T-Pain feat. Akon

Yeah...
Uh-Huh...
Yeah...
Yeah...

Broke up with my girl last night so I went to the club (so I went to the club)
Put on a fresh white suit and a Minicoupe sitting on dubs (sitting on dubs)
I'm just looking for somebody to talk to and show me some love (show me some love)
If you know what I mean... (Uh-Huh)...
Everybody jockin' me as soon as I stepped in the spot (I stepped in the spot)
200 b*****s and I bet aint none of them hot (aint none of them hot)
'Cept for this pretty young thang that was workin' all the way at the top (all the way at the top)
Shawty what is your name?

Oooo she made us drinks, to drink
We drunk 'em, Got drunk
And then I think she thinks I'm cool
She gave me a wink, I winked back
And then I think that, we,d have fun at my spot tonight

I like the bartender
(Oooo If you're lookin' for me)im at the bar with her
(Uh-huh, Ok)
I like the bartender
(Yeah if you're lookin' for me)
I'm at the bar with her
(Oooooh Uh-huh, Ok)

Got a brand new girl so I'm feeling all good inside (all good inside)
Feel like I put some brand new 24's on a brand new ride (on a brand new ride)
Triple shot of patron on the rocks with a little bit a lime (with a little bit a lime)
I'm just keeping it real (Uh-huh)
Baby still working at the club so I'm getting in free (so I'm getting in free)
Wednesday night I'm on the list T-Pain plus 3 (T-Pain plus 3)
Everytime I hit the spot baby girl taking care of me (taking care of me)
How do you think I feel?

Oooo she made us drinks, to drink
We drunk 'em, Got drunk
And now I know she thinks I'm cool
She gave me a wink, I winked back
And then I think that, we 'gon have fun at my spot tonight...

I like the the bartender
(Oooo If you're lookin' for me)
I'm at the bar with her
(Uh-huh, Ok)
I like the bartender
(Yeah if you're lookin' for me)
I'm at the bar with her
(Oooooh Uh-huh, Ok)

Shorty I'm sure you heard that I rarly never come out (never come out)
Unless I'm in the M6 doing tricks freeway burnt out (freeway burnt out)
Got a passenger side that's empty wanting it to be your spot (be your spot)
But you on my billboard we can act like the charts 'gon end up on top (end up on top)
Don't smoke don't drink that's why I don't be by the bar baby (baby)
Just lookin' at you from a distance looking like a god-damn star baby (baby)
So my girl don't see me T-Pain can I get those keys to the car? (those keys to the car?)
'Bout to go and Bang Bang Boogie with my cutie and I'll see you tomar' (see you tomar')

Oooo she made us drinks, to drink
We drunk 'em, Got drunk
And now I know she thinks I'm cool
She gave me a wink, I winked back (Uh-huh)
And then I think that, (Uh-huh) we 'gon have fun at my spot tonight...

I like the bartender
(Oooo If you're lookin' for me)
I'm at the bar with her
(Uh-huh, Ok)
I like the bartender
(Yeah if you're lookin' for me)
I'm at the bar with her
(Oooooh Uh-huh, Ok)

Pretty cool, huh?

Well, you ain't seen nothin' yet.

Barista
Artist Unknown

yeah!
sige! ye'...
cge.....

Hiwalay sa syota ko kagabi kaya ako'y nag-club (ako'y nag-club)
Suot puting Amerikana... tsikot, mini-cab na makinTUB (na makintub)
Ako'y naghahanap ng tao na makakausap at malaplap (at malaplap)
'lam mong ibig sabihin... (Uh-huh)
Lahat nakipaglandian pag tapak ko pa lang sa tapat (tapak sa tapat)
Dalawang daang p*** hula koy sila'y walang lasa (walang lasa)
Pwera na lang sa babaeng na nagtatrabaho umunlad siya (umunlad siya)
Pandak anong iyong pangalan...

Oooo kumuha ng maiinom, na inumin
Ininom namin, kami'y nalasing
Ngayo'y alam ko na iniisip niya ako'y astig
Kinindatan niya ako kinindatan ko rin siya
At ngayon naisip ko na kami'y may patutunguhan

Gusto ko ang barista
(Kung hinahanap mo ako)
Ako'y kasama niya
(Uh-huh... sige...)
Gusto ko ang barista
(Yeah kung hinahanap mo ako)
Ako'y kasama niya
(Uh-huh... sige...)

May bago akong babae kaya maganda pakiramdam ko sa loob (pakiramdam ko sa loob)
Parang nag-suot ng bente kwatro parang bago ang kotse ko (ang kotse ko)
Tumitira ng alak sa bato na may konting kalamansi (kalamansi)
Ito'y makatotohanan... (Uh-huh)
Sa club nagtatrabaho kaya wala akong entrance fee (walang entrance fee)
Huwebes ng gabi nasa listahan Dance Show plus 3 (Dance Show plus 3)
Pag ako'y nandiyan na inaalagaan niya ako lagi (Inaalagaan lagi)
Ano'ng mararamdaman...

Oooo kumuha ng maiinom, na inumin
Ininom namin, kami'y nalasing
Ngayo'y alam ko na iniisip niya ako'y astig
Kinindatan niya ako kinindatan ko rin siya
At ngayon naisip ko na magkakatuwaan kami ngayong gabing ito, saya

Gusto ko ang barista
(Kung hinahanap mo ako)
Ako'y kasama niya
(Uh-huh... sige...)
Gusto ko ang barista
(Yeah kung hinahanap mo ako)
Ako'y kasama niya
(Uh-huh... sige...)

Pandak sigurado kong narinig mo di ako gimikero (gimikero)
Puwera nalang mag-e-em six tuluy-tuloy lawit ang dila ko (lawit dila ko)
Sa tsikot ko may lugar ka sige na sige na pumatong ka (pumatong ka)
Saking billboard puta puta 'di 'ko maintindihan pinagsasabi niya (pinagsasabi niya)
Yosi inom 'di ko yan nakasanayang ginagawa baby (baby)
Dito lang sa malayo mukha ka talagang 'T*** i**ng Diyosa baby (baby)
Kaya't ako pilit na patagong magkikita susi nang kotse ko akin na (akin na)
Kaya't kami'y magtitirahan mabubuwisit ako bukas na...

Oooo kumuha ng maiinom, na inumin
Ininom namin, kami'y nalasing
Ngayo'y alam ko na iniisip niya ako'y astig
Kinindatan niya ako kinindatan ko rin siya
At ngayon naisip ko na magkakatuwaan kami ngayong gabing ito, saya

Gusto ko ang barista
(Kung hinahanap mo ako)
Ako'y kasama niya
(Uh-huh... sige...)
Gusto ko ang barista
(Yeah kung hinahanap mo ako)
Ako'y kasama niya
(Uh-huh... sige...)

I don't know about you, but I laughed real hard when I heard the Tagalog version...