Wednesday, July 16, 2008

When It Just Doesn't Pay To Get Out Of Bed...

.:The Way My Luck Runs...:.

This day was an utter wreck from the word "go", and the only glimmer of hope was a seemingly nice conversation with M.B., who seemed to finally be coming around to what I've been saying for the past month.

It was rough, but the conversation with M.B. ended quite well. I managed to get M.B. back on my side, after making it clear where I wanted to stand with M.B., despite everything that has already happened.

Should I have been surprised then to wake up later in the afternoon to find out that M.B. wants to sever ties with me because of something I wrote before we even talked? Never mind that M.B. made me feel that way when I wrote that entry. Never mind that I was entitled to my opinion of how I felt at the time that I was played for a fool. Never mind what was talked about after all that.

So now, I'm back to square one with M.B. since M.B. wants to eradicate me completely.

Then, we follow that up with the fact that A.L. is still clearly avoiding me up to now, after all this time. A.L. isn't alone though, as several other people are doing the same, and it hurts because the more I try to reach out, the more it seems to backfire on me. Just splendid.

To top it all off, I cut my class in Psych today because I was hoping that I would meet F.W., mainly because I did ask F.W. about F.W.'s schedule. I guess I was just being stupid and assumed that F.W. was actually free, only to find out that I actually cut my class for nothing, since by "free", F.W. meant that F.W. was free to do something else.

It's funny how "Unsent" by Alanis Morissette keeps popping up in my personal playlist lately, considering how I've written way too many Unsent letters in this blog alone, having written at least 24 of them, if my count is right. A friend's recent entry makes me think about sending another volley from the Unsent Series, but with the way things are going, I realize other things about myself that I wish I didn't, and these realizations detract me from doing another Unsent edition that would actually seem unoriginal after the fact... =(

.:I'm A Bag And A Half Of Issues:.

There's a lot to be said while I'm still stuck in a moment I can't get out of. Already, speculation abounds, and some people do question if I have lost my... gumption, in the middle of all the things that have happened in my life recently.

I don't know where I stand right now. I don't even know if I'm still standing, or sinking. All I know is I'm going to keep on keeping on.

I'm a bag and a half of issues right now, and I know that save for one person, there's absolutely nobody in this planet who can handle what I'm going through at the moment. I guess that explains why I'm like this right now.

I don't want to be presumptive. For now, I just need you to understand why I can't do what I want to do, and what you somehow expect me to do. Because I honestly believe that it's not yet the right time. I hope you understand. I have to bide my time... because you're worth it.

Just keep that in mind.

Just keep that in heart.

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