Sunday, November 29, 2009

Three In Two

.:Three In Two!:.

So I started the day off right by going to the Disenchanted Kingdom and just watching Cleo Caliente blush like a tomato at the latter half of the show, and discover that the true pornoisseur of the DK is none other than Marf himself. Not even super producer B-Roc of Turbulence Records fame could beat Marf’s inporn talent.

After hitching a ride on Marf’s brand-spanking-new Mazda 3, I headed off to the airport to catch my flight to Davao, as I’m supposed to be performing there at around six in the evening. It was crazy, but after going through all the motions of checking in and getting ready for the whole thing, I ended up really exhausted by the time I got to the venue, but still managed to perform a rather entertaining show with just enough variation from my gig for the same client last Wednesday for the people who watched my Wednesday show to still appreciate the Friday show.

It was tiring, and a very refreshing conversation with My Beloved that night energized me for the very early flight back from Davao the next day. Can’t really complain about that, as even if me and My Beloved are no longer together, we’re still very close and I can’t thank her enough for making that kind of a difference in my life.

First Flight Out

Immediately hit the sack as soon as I got home from the airport around 8:30 in the morning. I needed to recuperate, and I was really just exhausted because of all the flying around and the performing that I needed to do in short order. Still, I left very satisfied customers in Davao, albeit I ran into Arn from Aircheck at the airport, as well as one of the people I performed for the previous night.

Afterwards, I headed off to Malate for my second gig in as many days. I had to host and do magic for Jive’s 7th birthday, and I must say, it was a blast. The kids were all ears, they loved playing the games I lined up for them, and even the parents enjoyed their time to shine as we played “Name That Tune” for them and the mommies swept the daddies, six to nothing. I managed to pull things off just right, and the magic show really hit the spot. The kids were amazed, but more so were the adults, who really loved the last two things I did for them.

Afterwards, the parents and even some of the grandparents and aunts thanked me after the show, which really felt great, especially when one of them said, “You’re really good. Even I was entertained, not just the kids.” Nothing feels more rewarding than to know you did a great job and people aren’t ashamed to let you know you did.

Still, my day wasn’t done yet. There was one more show to perform at, and knowing I was going to help someone hear once again, this, to me, was the most important one of the three.

Fundraiser Night

I am helping Katrien hear. That is the first thing I’d like to say, for the record.

Secondly, last night had an amazing lineup of comedians who really knew how to get the crowd going. Ryan and Victor were just on fire, and of course, an exceptionally inspired Raffy Taruc was performing on a whole different level that night.

As for me, I performed a few new jokes, but chose to instead focus on doing my sponge ball routine, and a special request: the blindfolded Rubik’s solve, which I managed to complete under five minutes.

I feel I acquitted myself well that night, and there’s nothing better than knowing I’ve done my job in entertaining people with a vengeance. This was definitely one for the books.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Here At The Airport, Typing This...

Just saying I'm on my way back home from Davao. Show was a success, and I think I'm going to have quite a few more shows lined up for me in the near future.

Nope. No pictures. Didn't have the time to see any sights whatsoever.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Entertainment In Twofold...

.:Entertainment Today:.

Today’s Disenchantment Kingdom was a blast, mainly because of a new game Logan introduced to all of us... it’s a game called “Por-no or Por-yes”, wherein you have to guess if a certain film star actually was part of a movie or not, and all you have to work with is a bizarre but creative movie title like, say, “NYPD Blew”.

Needless to say, I scored miserably. I got three out of ten. Cleo was just shaking her head at how terrible a pornoisseur I happened to be, and Pom, Logan’s friend, scored seven out of ten. I was thoroughly beaten with ease right there.

Nonetheless, we did have some very good discussions about a lot of stuff, although they really played up the whole loveteam dynamic, albeit (thankfully) sparingly this time.

Afterwards, we had a great brunch somewhere in the Kapitolyo area, and it was an interesting time for bonding, considering how much I learned about Logan and Cleo that day. Yep, Marf was absent, so there goes that. In fact, the news of the day to me was Logan finally explained the reason why he’s not a big fan of the guys I happen to be a big fan of. Let’s leave it at that.

.:Spot The Difference:.
Justice Secretary Raul Gonzalez said Thursday Failon is considered a suspect at this time in the shooting of his wife, who was found in their home Wednesday with a gunshot wound to the head.

"I instructed the Bureau of Immigration to put him on the watchlist," Gonzalez said.
Police are still trying to determine if the shooting was a suicide attempt or foul play.

In a press conference Thursday morning, National Capital Region police chief Roberto Rosales said everyone at Failon's residence will be treated as a suspect, including the ABS-CBN news anchor himself...


- The general outlook of Raul Gonzalez during the whole Ted Failon affair

Secretary Raul Gonzalez, chief presidential legal counsel, cautioned the government against hastily arresting the Ampatuans in the absence of solid evidence.
“If we use the iron hand on them, they might fight back. We should take precaution. These are not ordinary people,” he said by phone.

“We’re guided by the rule of evidence, not by emotions. Suspicions, accusations are not synonymous with guilt,” he added.

Gonzalez said that the Maguindanao provincial government-owned backhoe found in the crime scene was a “circumstantial evidence” against the Ampatuans.

“But you can’t convict somebody with one circumstantial evidence,” said the former justice secretary.


- The general outlook of Raul Gonzalez in this Ampatuan affair

Oh, my. Si Raul, o!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Radio Musings...

.:The Disenchanted Kingdom, In Brief:.

I dropped in on the Disenchanted Kingdom with Logan, Marf, and Cleo yesterday, which proved to be quite hilarious, to say the least. I know it was so politically incorrect, but talking about the road rage guy and making a reference to him shooting it up because he gave his “potty mouth and middle finger” a rest was quite amusing, albeit definitely insensitive.

In any case, overall, the show was one of the quieter ones, but we still managed to have our moments. It seems to be quite a trend to tease me and Cleo on the air lately, but hey, what can we do, right? I guess that’s turned into a bit of an attraction, because one of the listeners who called in this morning actually mentioned that the whole “loveteam” (Not that there’s any.) made for giddy moments. Looks like that has made for quite an interesting turn of events.

At the same time, since Cleo and I were ditched by Logan and Marf last night, we ended up catching Ninja Assassin together. It was, as the review indicated, a pretty fun movie, although definitely nothing to write home about. I even called in on the show this morning, and they ended up asking me about the movie “date” last night, and actually mentioned it to Pidro during his Roadwatch segment immediately before I called in.

Nonetheless, it’s all in good fun. Cleo emphasized my being a virgin as a point of unattraction, but I was glad to have Cat on my side, as she extolled my sparse virtues and told Cleo that maybe, just maybe, it’s worth a try. I was certainly amused. That, and Logan even chimed in that it must be a big deal for me to wake up early and listen to RT, since I’ve always been listening to Chico and Delamar prior to all of this, which is actually true. This is the first time my radio was tuned into anything else but the Morning Rush since Chico and Delle hosted the Rush Hour on 939 KCFM.

So yeah, in a nutshell, that accounts for all the craziness on the air lately. Just a lot of high-school era teasing that’s amusing, but ultimately enhances the show’s demographic, for some reason. I guess that’s because deep down, the world could stand just a little more mush in their lives.

.:The Ship May Have Already Sailed...:.

As pretty much anyone knows, I merely guest on DK, and I’m not officially an employee of 99.5 RT.

Now, see, I have no problem with that, since I’m too busy to commit myself to a radio station full-time. I am loving my work here in Nuffnang, and I’d be a fool to leave all of this for a job that will not only pay much less, but one that I still feel I have underachieved at.

The only time I really felt I was doing well as part of an on-air team was when I was a part of Campus 99.5. Unfortunately, that didn’t last too long, and worse, a lot of back talk has taken its toll on me, and I’m really just too tired to have to go over all of that right now.

The thing is, I love radio with a passion, but I am aware of my weaknesses as an on-air personality. I wish I could change all of that, but it’s just not easy. I can’t just overhaul how I sound on-air in a flash and become a sensation. I always deferred to those who came before me, and except for one time in Campus, I was never given the kind of latitude needed to really break out. But see, again, I have nobody to blame but myself. I had my shot, but I just decided to phone it in all the way. The one time I strove to excel was when I was aboard a sinking ship.

Well, nowadays, I’m hanging out at the Disenchanted Kingdom, and I’m having the time of my life. I’m still far from perfect, but hey, I’m not on the payroll, and it’s not like I’m not trying to improve myself at all.

I ask myself if I want to find myself officially back in radio, and I honestly can’t say “yes” without any hesitations. I’ve found myself way too jaded with certain things, and this healthy distance from the official world of radio has afforded me a chance to continue loving it instead of being immersed and resentful at the same time.

Two years ago, when I left WAVE, I never thought I’d see myself in radio again. Campus rekindled that flame, but now, I know better than to just keep on pursuing what seems to be a pipe dream at this point. And with all due respect, maybe if I ever consider radio again, I have to look beyond the five stations I constantly look at when I think about it.

I do it because I love it. I have no desire but to give back to an industry that has given me so much throughout my life, from being a listener to being part of AGM to being in Radio 1, being a jock, being an Airchecker, and to being a host. It’s all because of radio. It’s all because of those who came before me that I always have and always will defer to.

Perhaps in the end, I love radio too much to truly belong there.

Atrocities...

In lieu of a long post condemning the atrocities of the Maguindanao massacre, I will instead offer a moment of silence for them in this post.

May justice be served for them.

Film Review: Ninja Assassin!

.:Film Review: Ninja Assassin:.

Obviously, SPOILERS AHEAD!!!


Ninja Assassin
You see one ninja in the poster, but a hundred of them see you. Yes. Right now.

Ninja Assassin is a high-octane ride of action, action, dismemberment, and action. This would be Rain’s first Hollywood lead role, and admittedly, the emphasis on action and Rain’s bare chest does little to hide his weaknesses as an actor. There wasn’t much variety in his facial expressions to speak of. You had no idea if he was angry or happy or sad, because really, his face was almost as blank as Keanu Reeves’s. Par for the course for a Wachowski brothers-produced film, I guess.

In any case, this film follows the story of Raizo, a former member of the Ozuno clan, one of the nine secret ninja clans that have committed assassinations for centuries for a price of one hundred pounds of gold per target. Raizo is one of the best students of the clan, but finds a change of heart when the girl he has had a bond with, also a ninja, was executed for wishing to find more meaning to life than merely being someone’s lackey.

Vowing revenge on the Ozuno clan, Raizo must now work with a forensic researcher from Berlin to piece together clues as to how to find the clan and eradicate them. It’s the amazingly-paced action that is the main attraction of this film, and on that count, it definitely delivers.

Ninja Assassin’s visual style is very striking and flashy. While admittedly, there’s a lot of gore to be found in the film, it highlights the fact that ninja are indeed good, but require mainly the element of surprise and fear to help them achieve their goals. Unlike most other depictions of ninja, this one underscores that when stripped of their tactical advantages, the fight between a ninja and a guy carrying a high-powered gun would be a crap shoot.

Ultimately, I had low expectations for this film, going in, so I was actually mildly surprised how enjoyable a romp this turned out to be. All in all, it served its purpose: action-packed, fast-paced, light on character development, choppy on acting talent, but ultimately entertaining.

Fun Factor: A
Critical Factor: C+

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Posting Next Time, But...

... today's show with Logan was awesome.

Not to mention breakfast with a good friend. I guess things are really looking up.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Ad Congress, Day 3...

.:Ad Congress, Day 3:.

Started my morning right by going on air at RT and having Logan just turn me and Cleo into a complete cheese-fest. Haha. It’s all good, though. From pasalubong to questions of whether or not I missed Cleo, it was just all in good fun as they played things up in full swing. It’s quite the mismatch, really. On one hand, you have Cleo Torres Caliente, the vivacious seductress who gets what she wants in a snap of a finger, whilst on the other hand, you have Kel, the preppy, geeky, and overtly old-fashioned guy-next-door who doesn’t have the faintest clue how to deal with girls. It’s an exercise in contrast, but it’s a rather enjoyable one, to say the least.

When my computer gave out last night, I was still keeping Cleo company via YM, talking to her as she went on air at a rather ungodly hour, considering she still had the morning show to deal with the next day. At the same time, a plug for Gimik 2010 with almost the same original cast (sans Rico Yan, for obvious reasons, as well as the younger ones like Kaye, John Lloyd, and so forth) aired, and I was actually stoked. Now, if only this means a TGIS 2010, I’d be all over it. Heh.

That, and I saw Maricar Reyes, plus some pictures from Judd of Kim Chiu and Gerald Anderson doing an interpretative dance. All I can say is that this is riveting stuff, and I’m fairly stoked about the future for the network wars. Let’s just wait what GMA-7 has to say about it at dinner tonight. K Brosas’s impersonations were hilarious during lunchtime at that.

And yes, I certainly did miss Cleo. How could I not? She makes my day whenever I see her.

Just to prove that I am such a total square, by the way, I didn’t bother going to the White Rock after-party for ABS-CBN anymore. Yep, despite the fact that I could’ve met up with Kimerald or Maricar Reyes or Iya Villania, I decided that sleep was more important.

What does get my goat though is when people end up flaking on me. I dunno about you, but I feel a bit miffed about that, especially since Mike Unson might be performing in a bit, and that’s certainly something to look forward to, considering these guys have never seen him at work. What a waste, is all I can say.

The Who Wants To Be A Millionaire bit with Vic Sotto was definitely exciting, though. I have to say, the TV networks have been pulling out all the stops to really get the attention of the advertisers, albeit TV 5 had significantly less star power than ABS-CBN’s presentation last night.

During the evening, I missed out on a lot of GMA 7’s program for dinner because I was too busy shopping for jackets in Adidas, resulting in my very interesting wardrobe choice where I was in a DLSU jacket throughout the night. GMA 7’s program was rather meh, truth be told. The star power ABS-CBN showed (What turned out to be a dry run of ASAP this Sunday.) just blew away anything GMA could show, albeit their program wasn’t bad at all.

Anyways, after all that, we had our after-party both for Marlboro and Globe, and I even got to meet my good ol’ clients from Lighthouse Marina, which was loads of fun.

The weekend then came, and we had to leave Ad Congress on a very early Saturday to do an event for one of our clients for Nuffnang. Despite that event, I immediately then met up with a good friend, and spent hours on end with her both on Saturday and then Sunday. It's really good to have friends like that...

And, oh. I even went on air with Ms. Cleo Caliente last Sunday on RT.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Ad Congress, Day 2 So Far...

.: Day 2 Is On The Upswing:.

I’m writing this as I listen to Sandwich playing “Sugod” in the background. This lunch by the Philippine Star has been a pretty star-studded affair, considering how Sandwich, Pedicab, Drew, and K Brosas are all here at the program right now.

At the same time, this day is of interest to us from Nuffnang because it’s a discussion about advertisement for tech. It was amusing how Multiply and Friendster both talked about the need for them to diversify or else they’d get overrun by the mammoth known as Facebook, and it’s also hilarious to note that “Twitter is trying to be more like MySpace, while MySpace is cleaning itself up to be more like Facebook, while Facebook is trying to be more like Twitter.”

So true, so telltale of the state of affairs for social networking nowadays.

After the luckless lunch we’ve had courtesy of Philstar (Nobody won from Nuffnang. Booo!), the afternoon session was all about corporate social responsibility for the advertising industry. It was a bit hilarious during the panel, though, as suddenly, former Mayor Lito Atienza showed up along with Heherson Alvarez, talking about how the government is doing everything it could to fight global warming.

I wasn’t too convinced, so I had to pop the very inconvenient question. If they were so against leaving a huge carbon footprint, why was the pamphlet they were distributing for everyone to see printed on high-quality, unrecyclable glossy paper and top-of-the-line 4-tone printers? Isn’t this a bit... self-defeating?

.:Day 2, Channel 2...:.

Wow. It looks like channel 2 has pulled out all the stops. Their top stars are all here tonight, and after opening with a funny monologue from Jon Santos as Korina Sanchez, everyone from Echo to JLC to Piolo to Sam to Karylle to Iya Villania to Kim and Gerald took to the stage for a really fun performance.

So sue me. I’m a big Kimerald fan, and my day is complete having met them in person. If Kimerald’s gonna be at the White Rock party, I’m soooo there tonight! Yeah, Ad Congress! Heh.

And, oh. I just saw Jugs of the Itchyworms. He's apparently one of the hosts for a gameshow in Channel 2. Wow. He was clearly amused to see me in Ad Congress. :P

- Gimik 2010? I'm all for it!

My Column's Up Once Again...

.:The Unspoken Terror!:.

I'm back on The Philippine Online Chronicles, and here comes my latest article, "The Unspoken Terror". Any bets how many people will actually take my clearly satirical piece for gospel truth? LOL.

.:I'm A Bit Floored...:.

Johnny Delgado has passed away due to colon cancer. One of my favorite actors of all time (His performance in "Kailangan Kita" is one for the ages.), I can't help but feel I'm really gonna miss him, because he had it all. He was funny, he had gravitas, he had credibility, and he was more than capable of making you hate him whenever he played a villain.

You will be missed.

.:Mon Tulfo, You're Breaking My Heart!:.

Mon Tulfo was once my idol. He was such a bad-ass, what with his take-no-prisoners attitude and ruthless zest for justice.

Unfortunately, there are times when he writes very questionable articles.

Being bad-ass is one thing. Being a total redneck is another. Today's column reeks of sheer homophobia. For someone who supposedly defends the everyman, he seems to have a problem with understanding that gay people have to wear the badge of homosexuality with pride precisely because people like Mr. Tulfo has decided for themselves that homosexuality is something to actually be ashamed of.

Mr. Tulfo, all the bad-assedness in the world will never cover up for the fact that you are a douchebag.

Oh, Really?!?

.:Really?:.

“You’re too nice.”

Really?!? This is the best excuse people could come up with now? That someone’s “too nice”? Really?

Seriously, kiddies, I have heard this line so many times it’s just fucking disappointing whenever I get it from someone now. “Kel, you’re too nice. “ This line drives me nuts to no end, because the unfortunate implication of such a statement is just sad. I think I’ve pretty much hit my breaking point with hearing this unfortunately stupid declaration.

Really? Too nice? So what’s the alternative? Are you telling me that I have to be a prick and a jackass for you to like me? Really? I have to go out of my way to treat you like dirt instead of doing right by you, because somehow, being too nice is actually a turnoff? Really?

And now, I see that the minute you get what you want, the minute you do find the asshole you’ve been looking for, you start whining about it. Really? I thought this is what you wanted. You find yourself with a guy who takes you for granted, who doesn’t give two shits about you, and would sooner cheat on you than console you when you’re having a bad hair day.

Then, you start wondering where the nice guys are.

Really? You fucking let ‘em walk, one after the other! And now, you’re asking where they are? Really? Has it ever occurred to you that you had all that right under your nose, and you just took it all for granted? Do you really have to hit rock bottom for you to realize you actually let something good pass you by?

Really? The pain you went through is reason enough for you to act this way? Really? Personally, I find that really sad, considering how I’ve been put through more than enough crap, and yet here I am, still “too fucking nice”. Really?

At some point, you need to stop blaming your circumstances, and you just really make the best out of what you’re dealt with. And really, if you start getting dealt a whole swath of guys who are “too nice”, then maybe you ought to realize that pushing them away might not be the best thing for you to do. You say you need time, you need to recover, and you’re not ready. Well and good. But you know what? Life’s too short to let the real keepers pass you by while you mire yourself in petty revenge fantasies and wish-fulfillment. Do you think the world revolves around you so much that you know yourself enough at this point in your life? Hades, if there’s one thing I learned from being in Philosophy, it’s that you’d sooner be dead than to understand how you tick, and much less how everyone else around you ticks.

Really, I hope you really want an asshole when you tell me I’m “too nice”. I hope it’s what you really want, and you’re not just screwing yourself over by misrepresenting what you’re really looking for. Because you know what? If you keep carrying on like that, you’re bound to get ‘em all in rapid succession, and by the time you’ve finally realized that maybe, these pricks aren’t really what you deserve and you deserve better than that, I can only hope, really, really only hope, that you’re not SOL by then, and you wouldn’t end up just asking yourself where all the nice guys have gone. Life’s a bitch. It’s not gonna wait for you when you’re good and ready. Sometimes, just sometimes, you have to make that choice yourself, and not wait for a sign that may or may never come for you.

You owe it to yourself. Really.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Ad Congress, Day 1...

:En Route To Ad Congress...:.

Spending the last two pre-Ad Congress hours of my life this morning in the Disenchanted Kingdom with Logan, Marf, and (finally!!!) Cleo.

It was really great because the previous night, I dropped off a basket of fruits for Cleo since she’s still quite under the weather. Having said that, it was good to see that she’s back at work, albeit it was rather inevitable that Logan and Marf would end up ribbing me about being concerned about her, but whaddaheck. I’m just doing what any good friend would do. Heh.

Much love to Koji Morales for dropping me off at Cleo’s, by the way. It’s rather easy to get lost in the Kapitolyo area, despite the fact that I’ve lived there for a few years. Dinner with Koji and his brother proved to be very interesting as well because of the stuff we talked about, so all in all, it’s been most enjoyable.

And, oh, oh! Yesterday, Logan and I rickrolled people when we recited the lyrics of “Together Forever” just because we can. Dammit, there’s just something about being able to rickroll people at will, isn’t it? The power, it intoxicates me so.

.:Ad Congress So Far...:.

Has been rather non-happening. Saw a few people I knew, but overall, I’d rather just go home and hit the sack, at this point. Still, I’m sure things will pick up again by tomorrow, so I’m looking forward to that.

In the meantime, I ended up spending more than half of my time during the cocktail in front of my computer simply because I discovered that wifi was actually available. Ended up just kicking it with Cleo on YM for a while, and It really did make me think about a few things.

In the middle of playing improv games with my co-Nuffies and enjoying the exhilarating feeling I get from finally getting away from all this crap for a while, there was just something wonderful about being able to spend time with Cleo, knowing that it was the one thing that made me feel really at ease. It was like having something familiar in a mire of question marks.

Thanks, Cleo! It was something I really needed at that point.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

The Calm Before Ad Congress...

.:All Aboard!:.

Well, it looks like Ad Congress can’t be stopped, and I’m really excited to go there. We won’t make it all the way to the Araw Awards, but it’s still going to be an awesome ride for me, to say the least.

.:That’s So Mentos!:.

Some of my videos are now available on That’s So Mentos. I dunno about you, but I’m looking forward to it as more and more videos are being uploaded, particularly the instances where I would do the infamous rope routine...

.:Whoops!:.

Apparently, my mom listened to my show yesterday. So now she knows way too much... heh.

.:Today’s Disenchanted Kingdom:.

Marf was finally there, so it was three of us handling the Disenchanted Kingdom, and boy, they sure wouldn’t let up on me the whole time. It was pretty funny for the most part because not only did we have some great moments with the cheesy acronyms, but we even had Meeeeetch call us again, resulting in unadulterated hilarity.

Anyways, doing a morning show with Logan is nothing short of a unique and hilarious experience. We definitely had a lot of fun this morning, and even after the show, we had some creepy conversations about moving Sto. Nino’s, the thought of which just absolutely freaks me out.

It’s a short update for the most part, but it was a great show, regardless. From Meeeeeetch to Brewsters who still listen to RT despite the Brewrats already finding a new home in 92.3, this was a great way to start the morning, to say the least.

This Is Madness!

.:Madness? This. Is. Government!:.

“In what way are they being marginalized? In what way are they being discriminated against?”

This bone-headed question was posited by one Commissioner Nicodemo Ferrer, in trying to justify why they rejected the bid of Ang Ladlad to be duly recognized as a party-list contender in the 2010 elections.

Now, normally, I’d point you to my POC article on this, but two things require me to write beyond that: first, I don’t want to be in character as I write this one; second, the article isn’t published as of the moment.

What really annoys the Hades out of me is that Comelec has been trying to say there were no religious undertones for rejecting Ang Ladlad’s bid, and yet they blatantly cited biblical and Quranic passages to support their argument. You cannot cite that as a source for your argumentation then claim they are mutually exclusive from the merits of your argument. They are not.

Furthermore, without religion, what society would have a problem with homosexuality, pray tell? Historically, an atheistic society has been tolerant of homosexuality because they understand that there is absolutely nothing abnormal with it, considering how it happens fairly regularly in the animal kingdom, for starters. As such, you cannot cite a “moral impetus” bereft of “religious undertones” if said moral wrangling involves intolerance of homosexuality.

You know why I feel strongly about this? My M.A. thesis has been about secular ethics, and clearly, in a secular setting, there is no room for homophobia. Nowhere in a secularly ethical society could you possibly come up with an excuse to reject homosexuals and deem them as unethical or immoral. In two years of research, I see that the source for this intolerance has stemmed exclusively from religion. Being homosexual, in an ideal world, should be every bit as valid as being heterosexual, and just because people act out being gay does not mean that the youth would magically “go gay” because of influence. Sexuality, as we have seen being more and more scientifically proven, is not a choice.

That he even needs to ask how gay people are discriminated against nearly made me scream in utter frustration. You mean all the stereotyping, all the insults, heck, even the basic slur, “that’s so gay” isn’t a sign of discrimination? When someone says the reason he went to jail is because he’s “black”, people throw a fit over the apparent racism. Yet when we call Cotto “a flaming faggot” because he decided to run around the last couple of rounds during his fight with Pacquiao, we don’t think anything of it? Oh, please. The double standard. It slays me.

We’re not even going into how teachers who turn out gay in Catholic schools often find themselves pressured to resign, or how often gay people are beat up because they supposedly “came onto” some guy or some other. The “gay hysteria” defense may not have precedent in the Philippine courts, but you know one of these days, it will be.

Dear Comelec, we don’t pay our taxes to have you determine for us what is moral and immoral, then impose religion to justify your decision. What about other religions? If we suddenly became sensitive to every single religion out there, you think we’d ever allow a single party-list applicant the time of day? Of course not!

- Mamamayang Ayaw sa Droga will meet opposition from Rastafarians
- The Sabungero group will be opposed by Vegan Buddhists
- The National Democratic Front will be stared down by Rizalistas
- Scientologists will go after any psychology/psychiatry group
- Satanism is a religion too. How about that?

Ang Ladlad needs this representation. If you don’t understand how the gay community is being marginalized, then I strongly suggest you open your eyes and look around. The mere fact we still have applicants include their pictures in their resume should already tip you off, dear Comelec. If you saw someone who looked incredibly gay in their picture, would you want to hire them, even if their achievements and qualifications far exceed the position they are applying for?

You can joke all you want that there are many gays in congress, so they’re overrepresented. Too bad they represent their congressional districts, not the gay sector. There are also plenty of women in congress, as Laya was quick to point out. Does that mean we abolish Gabriela now?

That’s discrimination. It happens, and there’s no frigging way you can deny it. Just because there are a lot of gay people does not mean they are not marginalized. I mean, how many Filipinos were there in the Philippines compared to Spaniards during their occupation? Yet despite the numbers, would you say the Filipino people “overrepresented”? Use your brains for a minute, seriously!

This decision was irresponsible, insensitive, and bereft of reason. You try to use weasel words to make us believe that your call was truly a prudent and praiseworthy one, yet your argument breaks down the minute you find yourself incapable of using anything outside of religion to ground your logic. Here’s a hint: if you can give anything written by Heidegger or Focault (two thinkers who can’t be accused of religious thought) that unequivocally condemns homosexuality, then I’d gladly reconsider my opinion of you.

As it stands, my opinion is that you’re bigoted, unenlightened jackasses, and the God you worship would be frowning upon you because you practice about the same level of love and acceptance as the Pharisees in the New Testament did. Shame on you, Comelec. Shame on you.

Monday, November 16, 2009

A Good And Proper Weekend, And then Some...

.:A Record’s A Record:.

Manny Pacquiao’s seventh world title in as many weight divisions is a brand-new record he set yesterday.

I’m not his biggest fan, as many people know, but this is definitely a laudable achievement.

Now, if he just stopped trying to run for public office, maybe I could actually start being less antagonistic of him.

.:Friday Night Experiment:.

Last Friday, I decided to give a whole bunch of new material a shot in the hopes of finding more working jokes in my standup sets. All in all, it appears the straight-edge jokes went over pretty well, and so did the one about Hillary Clinton. I think I’ll leave the Hawaiian pizza jokes to the Itcyhworms, though.

I didn’t stay for too long in Ditzy Diner though, because ever since an unfortunate incident there, I’ve been rather disenchanted with hanging around the place, and running into certain people. It was a point of interest for me to discover though that Baia, one of the doctors who frequent the diner, once had a deer as a pet. That just sounds so bad-ass, if you ask me.

.:Non-Happening:.

Saturday was a pretty boring day because I was supposed to go out and see someone, but it turns out that wasn’t such a good idea. So yeah, I ended up having some me time in Trinoma instead, and indulged in some Portobello Mushroom Ravioli for dinner, which is my second time to splurge after the Mentos street magic tour. My first one was when I had half a Peking duck last Friday, and boy, that felt absolutely sinful.

.:Radio Reconnections:.

Swung by RT last Sunday to say “hi” to Koji Morales and catch Cleo Caliente, but the latter wasn’t there. Nonetheless, it was absolutely enjoyable catching up with Koji, and shortly afterwards, I passed by Mellow to see Jaybee, who was doing her shift at the station on that day. Needless to say, it was enjoyable bonding with her, and she even asked me to do some magic for the other jocks at Mellow, which I found rather amusing.

Afterwards, we just had coffee at Starbucks, while I told her that one of my best friends, Abby, was extending her greetings. Abby was in very high spirits, and with good reason. I was pretty happy for her, too, actually.

In any case, I haven’t said it enough yet, Jaybee, but I’m real happy you’re back in radio. You definitely deserve it, and I’m glad to know you’re making good on your new lease in radio life. Here’s hoping I do the same this morning...

.:Oh, Boy...:.

Cleo and Marf were both... indisposed this morning (Personally, I’m a bit worried about Cleo, given that Logan mentioned she was rushed to the ER.). That meant it was just me and Logan doing the morning show. This resulted in a lot of fun to be had, as midway through the show, we started getting some rapport and quickly exchanging jokes, including getting Logan to do his Joe D Mango impressions, and my thoughts on what Bella should do if all she could choose were a vampire, or a guy who leaves hair on the furniture during a full moon.

Seriously, it was a riot. Admittedly, I still have a difficult time keeping up with Logan because his mind just really runs on a different level altogether while on air, but I’d like to think I managed to hold my own during the second half of the show. We gave away a total of eight tickets to New Moon, and one time, Logan actually put Pidro of trapik.com on the air, asking him if he thought Edward or Jacob was hotter. Pidro’s reaction was just priceless, since Logan may or may not have been pretending that he didn’t know it was Pidro he was putting on air, and not a caller. We also talked about scientists discovering water in the moon, and of course, Manny’s win. All in all, prime fodder for good comedy.

At the same time, Logan made sure to put me on the spot, because he decided to interview me about something that happened a couple of weeks ago. It was a tad awkward that I had to go over all of that, but it worked out pretty well in the end. Admittedly, yes, I’m still an old-fashioned guy, and Logan had a laugh or two at my expense when I had to explain exactly what happened on that fateful day. Still, Logan’s questions can really make you stop for a moment, particularly when, in another conversation, I declared that I “never had a boss I hated,” Logan promptly asked me, “Including the the Triggerman?”

I was quick to point out that the question was moot, since I was never officially employed during my Campus days, so the Triggerman, technically, was never my boss. Dodged! Seriously though, the irony isn’t lost on me. In 2004, when I dropped by LS shortly after being hired by WAVE, Triggerman talked to me on air and pretended I was King DJ Logan. Talk about coming around full circle. =P

It was a fun experience, and we even had some people from Urban Time who dropped in on us to talk about their watches. It was pretty cool because even by the end of the show, Linfred and I were still struggling to figure out how we knew each other. I’m sure he was my classmate somewhere. I just don’t know where.

After the show, I had some good feedback from people who were listening to the show. Overall, I had a ton of fun, although I’m sure things would’ve even been better if Cleo and Marf there.

Well, to Cleo, get well soon, wherever you are right now.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Pre-Weekend Notes...

.:The Tailend Of The Tour:.

The second day of my street magic tour happened to be one of the most entertaining runs for street magic I’ve ever had, as I had the pleasure of performing for appreciative audiences, and the opportunity to do classic routines I haven’t been using since 2006, such as Kaos.

That, and performing Lady And The Rope, as always, has been a major source of laughs for me.

In any case, the Mentos street magic tour was a rousing success. Here’s hoping that the really good sport from the Hortaleza center gets a hold of me soon. ;)

.:Friday Madness... On RT:.

And I don’t mean the retro showcase from Magic 89.9. I simply meant that as is the case with me every Friday (Except next week, since I’ll be going to the Ad Congress.), I was part of King DJ Logan’s “Disenchanted Kingdom” with Ms. Cleo Caliente and Marf. Overall, it was an entertaining experience, albeit there were a couple of heart-stopping moments that really took me aback.

While indeed, I performed a very classic mind-reading technique on Marf, it was also hilarious how I managed to sneak in a diss on him by asking him to blank his mind and then realizing he got to that point in record time.

I had to hold my tongue though, when in the middle of the innuendo-laden dialogue, KDL decided to take a shot at Chico and Delle again, and Cleo was quick to remind Logan that I love Chico and Delle with every ounce of my being, and Logan promptly scaled himself back, which I found amusing. At the same time, Logan played one of the most cruel pranks I’ve ever seen, as he reduced Cleo to tears when he exploited the fact that she was actually afraid of chickens, and he pretended to bring one into the booth to see Cleo clearly filled with terror.

I just sat myself down as Ralph, one of the guests that day, consoled her. She was just really crying like mad, and Logan was beside himself, knowing that he got her real good.

In any case, with all the laughs we had, and the possibility of Disenchanted Kingdom being sponsored by Enchanted Kingdom is quite an intriguing prospect. Heh. There’s nothing quite like getting really doused and wet in Rio Grande Rapids, after all.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Just Relishing The Moment...

.:This Is How We Roll:.

First day of the Mentos street magic tour was a success, and in about an hour and a half, I’ll be doing the second one and I’m sure it’s gonna be quite an experience.

And for the uninitiated, try out Mentos Cola flavour. It’s made of win.

.:Can’t Wait For Tomorrow!:.

Standup comedy in the evening. Disenchanted Kingdom on 99.5 RT in the morning with King DJ Logan, Marf, and the ever-lovely Cleo Torres Caliente. Could life be any grander?

I'll catch y'all next time, jabronis!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

On Budgets And Hawaiian Pizza...

.:TG Guingona: One Heckuva Guy:.

Last Monday, thanks to Carlo Ople, a few bloggers managed to meet senatorial candidate TG Guingona and pick his brain on his thoughts about the country.

I'll just say this about the man in a nutshell: this is a man who has a plan. While most other guys whom I favor are guys I like because they strike me as genuinely good people (Such as Ruffy Biazon.), TG Guingona not only struck me as an earnest guy, but as a guy who knows what he wants to do for the country once he's in the position he's seeking.

Budget reform may not be an issue that automatically appeals to the masses, but it is an issue that will have ramifications upon them if Hon. Guingona's budget reform measures come to pass. I won't drown you in jargon, but essentially, in the past nine years, the loopholes in the current budget system have been exploited time and time again by the Arroyo administration. Needless to say, this could be avoided if the budget were reformed.

That, and, oh. Yellow Cab was awesome. LOL.

Go for it, TG! Far as I'm concerned, the government budget can certainly stand some reform.

.:Hawaiian!:.

I ran into Jugs, lead singer of the Itchyworms, on Facebook earlier yesterday. He casually mentioned they had a gig in 70's Bistro, so knowing it's been a while since I've seen my good friend Sarah, I asked her if she wanted to catch the gig with me.

Now, we're kinda used to seeing them perform maybe three to five songs, given how they're normally part of a stacked lineup, but apparently, in 70's Bistro, they were the act to catch, and this meant a really long set from them.

While I swapped stories with them and they kept on ribbing me for getting Grin Department last October, it was really cool to hear them perform not only "Love Team", but even "Antipara" and a cover version of a Beatles song. There was a funny heckler up front who tried to dictate their entire setlist, but what was amazing about the night was they went the whole nine yards, playing songs that you normally wouldn't expect to hear from them during gigs, particularly songs like "Noontime Show".

It wasn't just the fact that they were playing a lot more songs than their average 3-5 song sets, it was also the banter that made the night for me. From their questions about French Fries being called only "Fries" in France, or Japayuki's only being called "Yukis" in Japan, or a cab driver who had no pants on, or Stuffed Crust pizzas with pineapple stuffing, there were plenty of laughs to be had.

Personally, I was just genuinely shocked that I actually heard them play "Antipara" because I was meaning to ask them to play that, but I figured that since they already played "Love Team" for me last time, I was pushing my luck.

Sarah and I had a blast, needless to say. It was the best gig I've ever seen from the Itchyworms, further cementing why I'm a big fan of theirs.

Afterwards, they asked me to perform a bit of magic for some doctors (Who apparently knew my ex.) as well as for one of their German friends who caught their gig. I did some metal bending and a bit of Michael Finney, and there were a lot of laughs to be had with that routine. Here's hoping this means we could have the Itchyworms perform with us in Ditzy Diner one of these days. I'm definitely going to work on making that happen.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

A Crazy Weekend...

.:Gamed!:.

Last Saturday proved to be quite amusing as I ended up going all the way to Las Pinas to spend time with Mark and Diane, whom I haven't seen for quite a while. We just enjoyed ourselves, playing this extremely weird demo of a game called "Bayonetta" while catching up with what we've been up to for the past how many months.

It's good to see them, considering how often we used to see each other, all because of Monster Hunter. Considering how we actually went and played during their wedding reception. That's how crazy addicted we were to the game.

In any case, since I overnighted with them and I intended to go to AOF on Sunday, it was the perfect plan. I went to church with them, and we ended up craving for barbecue afterwards, which we indulged ourselves in. At the same time, because the person I was gonna meet up with, Jazminne, wasn't going anymore, I decided against going to AOF myself, altogether.

And then things took a turn for the better. Much better.

.:Today's LSS:.

One of my favorite songs, taking on a far deeper meaning than it ever has in my life...

She's Always A Woman To Me
by Billy Joel

She can kill with a smile, she can wound with her eyes.
And she can ruin your faith with her casual lies.
And she only reveals what she wants you to see.
She hides like a child, but she's always a woman to me.

She can lead you to love, she can take you or leave you.
She can ask for the truth but she'll never believe.
And she'll take what you'll give her as long as it's free.
Yeah, she steals like a thief, but she's always a woman to me.

REFRAIN:
Oooh, she takes care of herself.
She can wait if she wants, she's ahead of her time.
Oooooh, and she never gives out, and she never gives in,
She just changes her mind.

And she'll promise you more than the Garden of Eden.
And she'll carelesly cut you and laugh while you're bleeding.
But she'll bring out the best and the worst you can be.
Blame it all on yourself, cause she's always a woman to me.

Hmmmmmm Mmmmmm Hmmmmm Mmmmmm

REPEAT REFRAIN

She is frequently kind and she's suddenly cruel.
But she can do as she pleases, she's nobody's fool.
And she can't be convicted, she's earned her degree.
And the most she will do is throw shadows at you,
But she's always a woman to me.

Hmmmmmm Mmmmmm Hmmmmm Mmmmmm

Monday, November 09, 2009

Friday, November 06, 2009

Laughs And Dials

.:Triumphant Wednesday:.

Last Wednesday’s open mic at Sidebar Cafe was incredibly stacked. A majority of the Comedy Cartel went in addition to the usual open mic people, so not only did people get to catch the usual open mic people such as myself, Eri Neeman, or Dr. Nase Cruz, they were even treated to Mike Unson, Stanley Chi, Uli Oposa, and the other amazing people from the Comedy Cartel!

Anton Diaz was even there, and he shot the entire night, as standup comedy just overflowed that night, tot he delight of the patrons of Sidebar El Pueblo. Personally, I really loved Mike Unson’s set that night. He was simply on fire.

In any case, we’re gonna be back there on Wednesday, and things are on the up and up for point of view observational standup in this country.

.:Manic Friday:.

There’s gonna be some standup again tonight in Ditzy Diner, and I’m all stoked for that, but this morning was something else.

First of all, since every Fridays is devoted to starting my day with Logan, Marf, and Cleo of “Disenchanted Kingdom” fame on 99.5 RT from 6-9 in the morning, I just have to say that it’s really a great way for me to start my weekend. Logan’s jokes never fail to crack me up, and when we tried to do the Abnormal Lift, it was just amazing how it worked so well on Marf, considering Cleo and her Yaya Maritess were part of the equation. Wait for the video, and I’m sure you’d be amazed too. That was as close to a legitimate levitation as can be, and even I was impressed with how high up we managed to levitate Marf.

Radio is something I’ve loved for years, and being part of this show has been hilarious so far. I had to contain chuckles when we did the radio contest though, because Meeeeetch was just one for the books.

But the unforgettable moment of the day was when Cleo Torres Caliente decided to camwhore for this guy watching her on webcam. The satisfied, smug look on the guy pretty much told the tale.

Meanwhile, Logan was asking me why I was at a loss for words. Well, I guess I just found the whole thing amusing. Cleo was really putting on quite a show, and the other three guys in the room were more concerned with how the guy getting an eyeful of this show was reacting, instead of gaping at this hot girl who’s actually putting on quite a show. Talk about priorities. But hey, that’s the Disenchanted Kingdom for you.

I’d post a picture of Cleo, but I promised her I wouldn’t do that on my blog. She likes her privacy. She really does. =P

Thursday, November 05, 2009

The Bound And Gagged Megapost!

.:The Bound And Gagged Megapost!:.


It was a blast! If you didn’t catch it, too bad!

October 23: The second Kel and Jay megashow has just wrapped up, and it was one awesome show for the ages. What started as merely a brainstorm for something bigger and better ended up becoming a reality, and one that we certainly will be pulling off yet again sometime next year.

Getting The Pieces Into Place


Oh, yeah...

The date of the show was set up since March of this year. We wanted a sequel to “Laughs And Gasps”, and we wanted to make it a bigger and better show.

Initially entitled “Music and Misfits” because the original concept was music and magic, the predictable departure of a rather disappointing cog in the machinery ended up with us looking to take the show in another direction. After a while, it all made sense: the show will be called “Bound and Gagged”, and will feature escape acts and the top ventriloquists of the country, thus indicating the main thrust of the show.

That was well and good, because I’m on fairly good terms with two of the best ventriloquists in the country, sir Ony Carcamo and sir Wanlu, who are definitely amazing performers in their own rights. Wanlu was also part of last year’s show, and is now a hall of famer in TV 5’s “Talentadong Pinoy”, while Ony is actually Wanlu’s mentor, and is someone whom I personally believe would be recognized as a National Artist sooner rather than later.

So it was all well and good, and we wanted a comedian like Giselle Sanchez to complement the show. With Ms. Sanchez booked in Hong Kong on that date, there was no way we could get her, so we had to look for the likes of Ms. Tuesday Vargas or even the controversial Ms. Candy Pangilinan. All things considered, things didn’t pan out too well in the comedy department – until the Comedy Cartel came along.

You see, I’ve already known the Cartel for a while, but I haven’t really had the opportunity to pick their brain, only getting snippets of their show mostly through my good friend, Stanley Chi. At some point in April, I got into standup comedy myself and I ended up feeling that hey, this show can carry itself without necessarily having some super name value. That’s why I ended up getting one of the pioneers of Philippine standup comedy, Mike Unson, and the winner of the Tawag Ng Tawa, Richie Fernandez. As a huge fan of comedy, I knew I could count on Mike and Richie to deliver the goods.

The last thing we wanted to consider were special musical guests who could enhance the show. It was an easy choice for us initially. We wanted Project 2 and Grin Department. Unfortunately, Project 2 disbanded, but in their stead was one of the cult favourites in the local music scene, Giniling Festival.

We were hoping to get the Itchyworms at the last minute, but their volatile calendar prevented us from doing so. Next year, just you wait... heh.

The Buildup


Rope a dope! LOL. I love being the writer of these recaps.

The sponsorship process was long, and arduous. In the end, though, we can’t thank enough Geiser Maclang, C2, Granny Goose Tortillos, Jack n Jill Potato Chips, E-Games, and Goldilocks for helping us make this show happen. The bulk of my thanks though is reserved for the last-minute miracle courtesy of my bosses at Nuffnang Philippines allowed me to actually make the show happen without me having to go through last year’s expensive lessons. All in all, the sponsors helped us majorly, and even our media friends, TV5, NBN 4, and Hero TV, were more than enough help.

I even went on to do radio tours and stuff to promote the show. From RX to WAVE to Magic to RT (Where I now sorta regularly go on air, thanks to King DJ Logan.), things have been going just peachy. All in all, I was grateful that my friends on radio really pulled through and helped me promote the show as much as they could. It’s hard to find friends as awesome as these guys are. We even had people walking in on the day itself just to check out what’s going on.

The people at PETA Theater are also nothing short of wonderful guys to work with, too. They were there, helping us out at every step of the program, and they really supported us all the way. I couldn’t be any happier about how well they treated us if I tried. Seriously, these guys are pros.

On the day itself, we were rehearsing all our stuff like crazy. It wasn’t easy, but we definitely made it work, and Brenda’s role in the finale was something we couldn’t take for granted. The guys from The Story Circle really made sure that every single detail about the show was running in top form, and even my mom got into the act, making sure things were ironed out perfectly. I was the producer, the marketing guy, the promoter, the stage director, and the performer. It was going to drive me crazy if i didn’t have any help at all, and these guys really came through in a pinch.

The First Half


Annoying pose, isn’t it?

The show opened with a bang, as Carl Quion, the youngest stage magician in the country, performed an amazing routine that just made people’s jaws drop. Carl helped us out immensely in preparing for the show, so there was no way I could refuse when he volunteered to be an opening act for the show.

It was great, as Jay and I went onstage and started talking to the audience. It was funny, really. We had a captive audience, and I even ended up squeezing in a bit of my standup as we needed to buy time for the first band.


The contrast is umistakable. Photo courtesy of Lei.

In all the merrymaking, Giniling Festival then stepped up and really got the crowd going. I was a bit worried about two kids in the audience, but it seemed that Giniling Festival wasn’t going to cause much grief for them at all, and their segment actually went over pretty well.


Again, courtesy of Lei.

Anyways, after Giniling got the people going, Jay and I went back up and performed Gypsy Mystery, emphasizing that one of the first things Tito Lou Hilario gave us as advice about the routine is to never perform it with two men. Clearly, we listen to such sound advice.


(W)hoops! Yep, still a picture from Lei.

Things were happening on full clip because we wanted to cram as much fun as possible within three and a half hours. Richie Fernandez then took on the role of doing some really great standup as he regaled everyone with his unique spin on comedy to the delight of the audience.

After this, it was my turn, as I performed a David Copperfield classic: the Slo-Mo Dove special. It was, without a doubt, one of the most embarrassing but memorable parts of the night, particularly since I danced “Nobody”. Twice. Once in slow motion.

It was good clean fun, and we wanted to end the first half of the show with a bang, so...


Wanlu and Manny Pexman never looked better together. Also from Lei.

Wanlu’s set featured multiple puppets, talking masks, and even a marionette. There was no question about it, really: Wanlu was the perfect act to cap off the first half of the show, as we knew he was going to really get the crowd on their feet. Needless to say, he hit one right out of the park, and we were heading off into intermission with a lot going for us.

The Second Half

I wanted them to be the main event of the show, but they were a bit reluctant since they had a gig in Bicol the next day. As such, we had them open the second half of the show.

Now, I’ll be honest with you: with the kids in the audience, maybe Grin Department wasn’t the smartest choice for entertainment that night. Their very loud, off-color, in-your-face style of music certainly isn’t meant for kids. Their notorious reputation for giving the fans more than their money’s worth isn’t without basis, too. What was supposed to be a five-song set became a five-medley set that had audience members polarized but reacting throughout the entire time.

Regardless of how you see them, though, they are legends in their own right.


Yep. Lei took this photo, too.

To me, it was an amazing moment to see Grin Department really just tear it up on the stage, and they were well worth the extra cash I had to cough up for going overtime. I had to manage my audience, though, and a quiet moment where I performed metal bending for the kids in the audience who had to leave the show really made me feel that as crazy as things were going, we were still on the right track. I was worried about time, but the remaining acts were going to really step up the tempo of the show. If this show would run for five hours, it better be the bloody best five hours they will ever go through, and I’d like to think we achieved that.

Jay Mata was up next, and in true form, he proved for a second straight time why he is one of the premiere mentalists in this country.


You just had to be there. Seriously. Picture from Lei.

He did what he did last year, with one key difference: when he had a volunteer step on his back and face, he withstood what must have been unbelievable pain and held off for at least fifteen seconds. While last year, the volunteer, Mike Abundo, was indeed tall and not exactly a light person, the volunteer this year was noticeably heavier. And Jay survived it.

The lighting at this point was perfect. We wanted to convey a moody atmosphere, so instead of having the goings-on projected on a huge screen, we instead asked the audience to gather closer to Jay so they could see for themselves what he was doing. It was eerie, it was unbelievable, and it was just... surreal.

Afterwards, the audience was still in for quite a treat. My personal favourite standup comedian, Mike Unson, was next.


Ang galit na nauwi sa WALAAAAAA!!! Photo from Lei.

The audience was laughing like crazy at this point. There’s a reason why Mike Unson, in my opinion, is one of the best Filipino standup comics ever, and he proved it that night. Every single joke was met with raucous laughs and heartfelt applause. And he did all of this in record time, being the consummate professional that he was. He was just on a different plane that night.

And the thing is, when you step the game up like that, you just know that with a show like this, there was no way things would go on a downward trend. Ony Carcamo followed things up with an unbelievable set where he used only one puppet, Mr. Parley, but he still managed to get people laugh non-stop for what seemed like hours of non-stop entertainment.


I won’t spoil anything here. You should’ve been there. Pic by Lei.

What really amused me was how Ony actually referenced Mike in his set and it was just so natural and hilarious. The whole “this is PETA theatre” bit was just awesome, and I couldn’t think of a better one-two punch than Mike and Ony performing and just really taking everyone’s breath away. This was grade A comedy, and I was just so proud to have been witness to it.

And then came the finale. Naturally, that meant we had to Rickroll people. Again.


You know the rules. And so do I. Pic by Lei.

Paying tribute to the Pendragons for our last act, Metamorphosis is often regarded as “the fastest illusion of all time”. Behind the choreography and dance steps, it was a matter of doing something so fast, that anyone who’d so much as blink would regret it.


Not pictured: Brenda is in that box. Picture by Lei.

... And we pulled it off. Brenda was in the trunk one moment, and the next, she was outside of it, leaving me inside the trunk.

But it wasn’t over. Not by a long shot.

Throughout the night, you see, Jay was on the receiving end of my jokes and ribs. He vowed revenge, and promptly knocked me back into the box to lock me in there until he saw it fit to release me. He even started to thank everyone for going to the show and was sending them on their way, what with me trapped in the box and all.

That’s why I had to tell him off right then and there.

From the balcony.

Yep. You read that right. Ever heard of the Transported Man? That’s sorta what happened right here. And it was a success. A tremendous finale that we worked on for weeks, and it paid off in the end.

The Aftermath

Well, the show happened, and I couldn’t thank the people who went enough, especially my friends from Ditzy Diner and the Laffa 2 guys, as well as Jeff Tam and the other people from IMC. Things would’ve been perfect despite Grin Department going a tad overtime if it weren’t for one thing, though...

Some rotten soul stole my cellular phone off the stage, and even stole a lot of other stuff backstage that night.

It was sad, really, as this was a charity event, and this was the last thing you’d expect from an event like that. Nonetheless, I’d like to think that the world has a way of balancing itself out, and the good we’ve done for this night cannot be outweighed by the bad things that may have happened.

Oh, indeedy. You can be sure we’ll be doing this again next year.

Thanks for the support, one and all, and we’ll see you again soon for the third Kel and Jay megashow!

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Recalling Mega Masquerade, Comedy Cartel, My Missing Umbrella, And Other Shenanigans...

.:Just A Couple Of Thoughts...:.

I must admit, it was very amusing having this picture of me taken last Saturday. I look like a Green Lantern.


In brightest day, in blackest night...

One thing I must also mention is that I even had a quick run-in with the one, the only, Hard Gay Philippines. He was in his white costume, and I naturally had to have a silly looking photo with the man...



What the camera didn't catch would be one of my feet, which was pointed upwards behind me, just like this poster, only higher...


Yes, I meant Julia Roberts's pose.

Having said that, I'm carting away great memories from Mega Masquerade, especially since I had a very successful magic show that day, considering this was a cosplay event.

.:Standup Tonight, Tomorrow, And Friday...:.

I probably won't go on Thursday, but there's standup comedy tonight at El Pueblo in Sidebar Cafe around 8:30, in Alchemy on Thursday around 9:30, and in Ditzy Diner in E. Rod Sr. on Friday around 10:30. Standup comedy has been getting more and more chances to shine in the local scene, and I'm all for it.

Also, make sure to not miss "Late Night Comedy Show" this November 27 in the Music Museum. Tickets are available at Ticketnet, and you'll be treated to unbelievable comedy from the stalwarts of the Comedy Cartel. Doesn't the poster just make you want to go? I know I'm going, seeing how big a fan I am of the Cartel for the past year or so already...



Comedy has been one of the things that has allowed me to keep myself sane in the midst of turbulent times in my life. In the same way I developed my craft as a professional magician in 2006 after heartbreak, yet another heartbreak has led me to standup comedy, and I've been pleased as punch with the results.

At the rate I've been going, I do wonder how many more breakups it'd take me before I learn to sing or dance.

.:What You Got 'Til It's Gone:.

Life's funny. We take things for granted when we have them, yet we want them so bad when we don't.

Take for example this morning, when it was raining around 9 or so. I was happy to have my umbrella with me because it saved me from being drenched like mad. It was awfully nice to know that I had a good umbrella I could rely upon as I waited outside our house to hail a cab, and I managed to get one after around ten minutes or so.

As I took the ride to work, I was relaxing while listening to the radio. That's when I started taking the umbrella for granted.

Needless to say, I left it in the cab. And I missed it ever since.

Why is it that way? I mean, if there's one very explicit display of how much we take things for granted, this had to be it. There I was, appreciating my umbrella one moment, then completely ignoring it the next. It just boggled my mind, truth be told. I just couldn't understand what makes the human mind so inclined to care more about the have-not's than the have's in one's own life.

A while back, I wrote about the unicorn effect, and I realized that one needs to disdain the things one cannot have, if one wishes to move beyond such pettiness.

I can really see how it works, sometimes. Whether it's about being taken for granted by so-called friends who only remember you when you're not there to help them yet forget all the times you were there, to the ice queen you want in the workplace but can't quite get, all the more increasing her appeal, wanting something you cannot have, and ignoring something you already have is often the easiest course of action for a person.

Think about how often you pine for someone who constantly rejects you, yet ignore the one who's fawning all over you. Then think about how things seem to change the minute the person who worships the ground you walk on is devoting their attention to someone else. It's like that kid who doesn't care about this particular toy until another kid decides to play with it. Only then does he assert his ownership of something he never gave a damn about until shortly prior to this.

Terrible, isn't it? But we do it. And we seem to be genetically wired to keep on doing it.

Sunday, November 01, 2009

Oh, Wow. Quite A Weekend...

.:Three Sets In One Week?:.

Pretty much what I did this week, despite not going to the Friday set (Assuming it still happened.) at Ditzy Diner, since I actually did a bit of standup comedy at the Mega Masquerade before I did my magic show.

In any case, I immensely enjoyed two of my sets, particularly since with one of them, I even managed to get my anime jokes out of the mothballs to an audience that just gets the humor.

The other set left a bad taste in my mouth, though, as I was heckled by people whom I didn't expect to be heckled by. But hey, I'm a professional through and through and all that jazz, so whaddaheck. It happens all the time, I guess.

Anyways, it was a great week for comedy, as I did get to try out a few new jokes I was really meaning to work on for the longest time. It's about time, as I didn't want to get stale and I needed to innovate quite a bit, to say the least.

.:Mega Masquerade!:.

Well, this was definitely an interesting event, as for the first time in my life, I actually was made a judge for a cosplay competition, and notwithstanding my proven track record of winning cosplay competitions, I think it was actually a pretty fun competition, all around. The fact that the cosplayers worked in pairs and some of them had decidedly marvelous performances meant it was more than just your average cosplay catwalk kind of bit.

I actually judged only one component of the criteria: the appropriateness of the mask to the costume, consisting of 15%. Normally, this would be grounds for complaining about not having equal billing (LOL), but seriously, I was just plain overjoyed to actually be involved in a cosplay contest without having to do the work of hosting or cosplaying.

Kudos to my namesake, Kel, for being an excellent host throughout the show, though.

.:Friday Morning = RT Morning!:.

As you guys know, I'm a guest on King DJ Logan's morning show every Friday, 6-9 AM, and I was just plain overjoyed about it, as I performed Shanghai Shackles and found the time to bond with Cleo Caliente, who was every bit as intelligent as she is a looker.

Logan even had some brilliant moments where he suggested how awesome it would be to have a kiddie radio station. I'm all for it, albeit he used the opportunity to poke fun at another radio station he's clearly not too fond of.

Anyways, after years of listening to the guy, I'm sorta used to Logan's antics already, so it comes as no surprise to me.

In any case, I'll be back there next week, as to be expected. I'm enjoying being back on the air, and who knows, maybe a more formal return to radio could be worked out in the future, right?