Tuesday, October 05, 2004

.:Writing Block:.

I'm fairly occupied with so much work. Would've wanted to update my story series and write a new short story, but I'll leave it to when I feel up to doing it. Ah, well. Spent a good chunk of time trying to get some new NES games all the same...

.:Oh, Well:.

I didn't go to class today since Fr. David scheduled classes at 3:30 in the afternoon. That was impossible for me. I was at a meeting in WAVE at the time.

.:The Meeting:.

The meeting covered agenda we've taken up before: lack of initiative, the need for fresh ideas, and so forth. Robi gave the same suggestions he gave before, and so forth. Nothing big, as you can tell. In spite of that, one of the ideas for the Halloween thing was a “WAVE of Terror” notion, but fire spinners don't seem scary enough. Ah, well.

Not much on this front. Joe D. Mango said I was improving on the air already, though... that ought to count as something to me.

Meeting was fine, really. I was being ribbed about the Ben-Gay I kept on applying on my hand, though. They figured I sprained my wrist over “self-employment”... heh. Wonderful people we have here...

.:Trauma Ignored For A Greater Good:.

To put it succinctly, I was always afraid of calling or so much as regarding someone as a best friend.

You see, I've had really bad experiences with people I've called “best friend” in the past... oh, sure, all that is ancient history, but it still cannot be denied that I was definitely traumatized with all the crazy goings-on that sent me into varied situations with the people I called “best friend”. Whether it be a major argument, or making the mistake of falling for the person, you name it, I've prolly done it already.

But then, I guess there are just some people that can make you ignore this kind of trauma, knowing that they deserve that kind of regard, whether or not one made explicitly. Sacha is such a person.

Something about Sacha just makes me feel so blessed to be friends with her. Few people I know are quite like her when it comes to connecting with the other person emotionally and intellectually. Moreover, I've learned, over the years, to appreciate her as a person so much. Is it any wonder why I call her “my best friend” whenever anyone asks the amusing question “Kayo na ba ni Sacha?” It clears up a lot of ambiguity, and I don't find the need to explain beyond that unlike saying that we're very close but we aren't too fond of calling one another “best friend”. In this regard, and in so many different ways, I cannot help but realize that whether or not she feels the same way, she really is the best friend I have right now.

I don't expect her to reciprocate. I don't expect her to refer to me or even consider me as a wee bit more special than most friends in her mind. It's not up to me to compel her to do that. However, I make it my responsibility to earn such a regard. I won't ask her for it. I'd simply lay my cards on the table about it. That way, if I remain stuck as a “one-way best friend” as it were, there would be nobody to blame save for myself.

Bottomline, in spite of all that, is that I'd like to think Sacha and I are not just arbitrary friends with no rhyme or reason. There is quite good reason for me to be this way...

Quite good reason, indeed.

I'm grateful I got to chat with her yesterday, and that she felt actually flattered that I, one of the people who feels quite cynical about the term “best friend”, find it suddenly unavoidable to refer to her as such. Why?

Because she's earned it. I can only hope to do the same eventually...

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