Friday, July 18, 2003

A few OOC things before I go into this attempt at a... well, I don't know how to call it yet... suggestions?

I'm happy to have met a few new people last Wednesday: Hope, Marty, and Dani were all nice people...


.:This Is How RAW Should Really Be… On So Many Levels:.

*Interpret all this as you choose to…*

Jim Ross: We’re taking you backstage as it seems that Hunter Hearst Helmsley is indeed leaving Evolution! Bah Gawd, there goes one of the best stables the WWE has ever seen!

Jerry Lawler: The Evolution was really rising among the ranks with Triple H, Randy Orton, Ric Flair, Batista, and Arn Anderson. Looks like Triple H couldn’t share the spotlight!

Triple H walks towards the camera, sees Ross and Lawler, then scowls. He heard what the two had to say, and he didn’t look one bit pleased with it.

HHH: Who do you think you’re talking about? I am THE GAME-AH!!! Evolution owes its success to me-ah! And now, let’s see them go around without my guidance. Randy Orton? What a young arrogant punk. Ric Flair? Ha! He’s washed out! Batista? He’s got more muscles in his head than anywhere else! Arn Anderson? Don’t even get me started on him. The fact of the matter is, I’m the only one in Evolution that the people wanted to see-ah!

Jim Ross: Now, Hunter, we know that you’re upset everyone seems to be looking past you, but…

HHH: Looking past me? LOOKING PAST ME? What do you think you’re talking about? Those morons are HOLDING ME BACK-AH!

Triple H turns around and walks towards the ring, as Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler await his arrival into the ring. It looks like he has a lot to say, and there’s no question that this is going to be quite a night…

Unexpectedly, a familiar music hits the arena, and it’s not Triple H’s entrance music. Blue mist begins to feel Madison Square Garden, and the people know who’s got something on his mind. It’s none other than…

Jim Ross: Bah Gawd! It’s Mister Vader! Mister Vader is here, and it looks like he has quite a bone to pick up with Triple H!

Jerry Lawler: Mister Vader looks pretty pumped up tonight!

Mister Vader saunters into the ring and gives a few high-fives to the fans at ringside. He enters the ring, and with a flourish of his hands, an amazing blue explosion engulfs the ring, and the blue mist is still spreading all over the arena. Mister Vader steps into the ring, goes from corner to corner and raises his arms to the jubilation of the crowd. He motions for a mic, puts it closer to his lips, and…

Mister Vader: Finally, Mister Vader has come back to Madison Square Garden!

Jerry Lawler: Haha! Cheap pop! Cheap pop!

Mister Vader: It looks like somebody’s head got a little too big for his hat. HHH, you’re running your mouth off, and you had the audacity to go and insult your own kind, Evolution itself. You laid them all out with your trusty sledgehammer, which apparently, is your only way of overcompensating for your toothpick!

Jim Ross: Did I just hear Mister Vader insult Triple H’s… err…

Jerry Lawler: No, JR! Don’t say it!

Mister Vader: You talk tough, jabroni. But it’s pretty obvious you can only do that hiding behind that sledgehammer of yours. You think you can take any of the rest of Evolution on without any help from that? Well, Mister Vader doesn’t think so because you sure are the most yellow bastich to walk God’s green Earth, jabroni. You roody-pooh excuse for a human being! You think you…

Triple H’s entrance music suddenly blares, and he is met with a chorus of boos from the audience. He holds a mineral bottle in one hand, and a sledgehammer in the other. He pours the mineral water over his head, then marches to the ring. He takes a swig from the bottle, chucks it into the audience, then sprays it into the air. He stares down Mister Vader intently, and neither man blinks. There is no intimidation at all.

HHH: Vader, I don’t ever recall you having to stick your nose in MY business. Why don’t you save yourself some pain, and get out of this ring before I go medieval on your rear end?

Mister Vader: You know, Hunter, maybe you’re right. Maybe Mister Vader has nothing to do with this, so if you want to take out your frustrations on somebody, why don’t you go for… hmm… Randy Orton? You have a match scheduled with him tonight, don’t you?

HHH: A match? Against Orton?

Before Hunter you knew it, Orton jumps him from behind and lays him out with a flurry of punches. Hunter tries to fight back, but Orton’s jumpstart gives him quite an advantage.

Jim Ross: Randy Orton, a third generation superstar, getting a few shots in just before the referee asks to ring the bell to start this match.

Jerry Lawler: That’s not fair! Triple H wasn’t ready yet!

Hunter tries to knock Orton from his mounted position and succeeds. He then gets up, and Orton hits an Irish Whip, which Triple H promptly reverses. Orton bounces from the ropes, and gets caught with a leaping knee to the face.

Jim Ross: The Game is showing some veteran skills in reversing that whip into one of his favorite moves! That was simply amazing!

Orton rolls out of the ring to catch a breather, as Triple H regains his bearings and pursues him outside. Hunter gets a hold of Orton and whips him into the steel steps, as Orton cries out in pain.

Jerry Lawler: Ow! Right into the solid steel steps! There ain’t no give there!

Suddenly, Ric Flair runs into ringside and tries to separate the two.

Jim Ross: What? It looks like Ric Flair is trying to break this up! What’s he doing? I thought he has an axe to grind with Triple H! Here is the man who sacrificed so much for Triple H’s sake, put his body on the line for all those chair shots and finishers Hunter was supposed to take instead! It looks like Flair doesn’t want to just call it quits, but the referee has seen enough! He’s declaring this a no-contest!

Jerry Lawler: Now that’s weird! Why is he trying to… oh!

Jim Ross: Bah Gawd! The humanity! Triple H assaulted Flair with a sledgehammer while his back was turned to Orton! Randy Orton is stunned, but it looks like the Cerebral Assassin is not wasting his time! He’s hightailing it out of the ring!

Jerry Lawler: Flair is wearing a scarlet mask right now! He’s been busted wide open! I can’t believe H would do such a thing!

Meanwhile, backstage…

Terri Runnels: Mister Vader! Can I interview you?

Mister Vader: Consider yourself lucky, Terri. Vader is in no mood to make fun of you right now.

Terri Runnels: Mister Vader! It looks like your attempts to stay out of the affairs of Evolution have really failed.

Mister Vader: Vader just wants to be there for those in his Ministry.

Terri Runnels: If you don’t mind my saying so, I think you really want something in return.

Mister Vader: From whom? Triple H? That steroid freak? Vader doesn’t need to curry the favour of anyone, jabroni! He just wants to be there for the Ministry. Ric Flair was distraught over Triple H’s departure, because Hunter was like a brother to him already. He cared about Hunter, and made him his own protégé. Yet what does Triple H pay Natch back with? A sledgehammer shot?

Terri Runnels: You keep on referring to this… Ministry of yours. I know I’ve known you all these years, and I don’t see why you have to take it upon yourself to be there all the time.

Mister Vader: You know, you never even asked Mister Vader for help in all the time he’s known you. You think Vader is THAT worthless?

Terri Runnels: It’s not that. It’s just that I’ve always been…

Mister Vader: … self-sufficient?

Terri Runnels: Why, yes.

Mister Vader: You know, you could’ve been Vader’s manager, but instead, you chose Goldust. Vader finds that odd. You’ve known Vader for far longer, and there’s hardly any difference between him and Goldust, to begin with.

Terri Runnels: But, you see…

Mister Vader: This interview is over.

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