Wednesday, March 24, 2004

After the long hiatus (Right...)...

.:Get, Get, Aww!:.

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Separated at birth?

I don’t know with you, but I find the comparisons between my girlfriend and Sex Bomb dancer Rochelle Pangilinan particularly amusing. Considering how I have a soft spot for that group, I’d like to think it’s quite a compliment, as Rochelle is, after all, the ninth sexiest woman in the world, according to FHM. Since all our friends on OB say Grace is a hotter version of Rochelle, that means she’s at least number eight…

I even managed to coax her to do the “Get, get, aww!” bit last night… can I just say that she sounded really great? Heh. It was pretty nice, truth be told. Not that I really think she’s a Sex Bomb Dancer (She’s miles better than them, IMHO.), but the people telling her that meant it as a compliment. Of course, since she’s not too big a fan of the dancers, well she has a less than favorable response to them… ah, well. That’s fine.

.:Incredibly Busy:.

Graduating isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, believe me. To this moment, I feel little to no sentimentality about it (Though I have a strong feeling that I’d be eating my words come Friday, when I run into certain people I really care about…), nor do I really feel any closure, per se. But I guess that’s mostly because I’d still be in the academe one way or another, if only for this career path that I ended up taking. I’m pretty happy that my godfather was very supportive of my choice, though. With the Philosophy department asking me to set up an appointment with Fr. Que next week regarding my application as a teaching assistant. I hope that turns out well, because unlike Abby and some other people I know, I’ve really been limiting my work options, having sent in applications only to RX, Unilever, and the Philosophy Department.

I really hope that I can land the teaching job. Sure, I’m not going to make much money when you think about it, but that’s of no consequence to me. I believe what is more important here is that I work to be fulfilled. If I really wanted to make money, then I guess it wouldn’t hurt to teach abroad for a few years, while I work on my Ph. D. That’d be nice. I’d want to learn some more German if that be the case, then. At the same time, if needed be, once I get my M.A., I’d see what I can do about teaching only part time (Preferably Saturdays only.), and juggling that with working on, say, advertising, or brand management. In any case, I want to make sure that I really am balancing my fulfillment with my cash flow.

I guess I’m glad that I’m finally getting a laptop of my own soon enough. It’s going to be such a boon for me, considering how much help it’d be for me to be studying with a trusty laptop by my side. If I could push my luck a bit more, a palm top with a keyboard attachment would really help, too, so I can cut back on my clutter and simply have that, then transfer to my computer when I get home. That’d be great, whether for my M.A. or my work.

As far as this week is concerned, I’m incredibly occupied. I even have this VTR I have to go to on Thursday. It’d be nice to be a commercial model from time to time, though. That pays well, considering the minimal investment one would need to put into being one. I think that’s the perfect compromise, as I really can’t go for show business. It’s not for me… Abby of course thinks that I “finally gave in” to the call of showbiz, but Hades, this doesn’t count, right?

As of right now, the most pressing immediate need I have for money is to be able to sustain RAW Deal in the Philippines for the meantime. I know I won’t make much, but if I could afford shipping in a bit of ARUS, Wrestlemania, and DO, I think I can keep the RAW Deal tournament scene afloat for a good three months, before the stores catch on. Better yet, it’s time to organize my players to have them sign a petition to stores to carry RAW Deal. If there’s ample demand, I don’t think the stores could really deny us, anyway. If anyone reading this has any ideas how to save the game, please let me know! This is a great game that I hate to see die just like that, especially now that the WWE is easily accessible on television. It’s such a shame, really…

Of course, now that the RAW and Smackdown rosters are being shuffled around due to the draft, it’d be really interesting how the rosters would look like by the end of this week, and how it would affect RAW Deal as well…

.:Conflicting Opinions:.

I got evicted from the computer laboratory the other day because I was too hooked on playing Adventure Quest for me to notice that I was already being observed. It’s a pretty fun game, truth be told. I like how they made it a flash-based RPG that actually is developing right before my very eyes. I’ve been doing pretty well with my character lately, though I must say that I’ve a long way to go. In any case, it’s a fun game. Try it out.

Anyways, I got to talk to Ato and Cyril the other day. I was asking them about how… ahem… difficult… Pan-M can be, and they had rather conflicting opinions about it, though their common point of reference was simply Gio. Ato thinks that Pan-M has surpassed Gio already. Then again, Cyril has a valid point: Pan-M has yet to be violent. With that being said, this is not to say that either is “easygoing”. It’s just a comparison of two different people on a similar characteristic yet on totally different planes. Ergo, no point of comparison save that they’re both… difficult. At least I don’t hate either of their guts, unlike, err… someone who robbed me of stuff. Short notice, really.

Nonetheless, it’s all good…

.:Corny Name Jokes:.

Question: What is Nemo’s (Of “Finding Nemo”.) first name?
Answer: Sarah.

Question: What is McGyver’s first name?
Answer: Menemis (Menemis… McGyver.)

Question: Among the Three Stooges, what is Curly’s last name?
Answer: Gaspy.

Question: What is Frosty The Snowman’s last name?
Answer: Cool.

Question: What is Helen Hunt’s brother’s name?
Answer: Mike.

Ergo, all these corny jokes were thrown around last night when me and Grace were talking on the phone. If in case you didn’t get some of them, let’s just say you ought to thank your lucky stars that it happened to be the case…

.:On Work:.

God knows I don’t want to run into Abby again in such common ground so soon, especially considering how there’s only one opening in McCann and either of us getting it would jeopardize the other. I guess you might say it’s time that I started letting go of long-standing issues by slowly easing it out of my system. She had her interview for McCann today, and though I certainly would’ve wanted to apply for it, I’d rather stick to my guns with Philosophy, and have that only as an absolute fallback. Besides, wouldn’t I be too presumptuous to assume I’d land that job just like that?

I just pray I don’t end up sacrificing any friendships I have and treasure right now in the process, because considering how I’ve been so touchy about things lately, it’s been hard keeping a stopper on my emotions when things don’t seem to go right. I know this is so candid and unceremonial, but I guess I really can’t help but think about things that might happen in the near future. I’ve talked about it with Grace, and she sometimes wonders why I don’t just give up on a friendship if it hurts me already. But she knows the answer. That’s just not Marcelle. Marcelle, in spite of the contingency plans, never fails to give it his all when he feels it is worth it. Marcelle, in spite of the contingency plans, chooses to persist regardless of the pain.

My choice to engage myself in the academe is a choice born out of the oddest mix of circumstances: teachers somewhat egging me on, GTO, and this feeling of emptiness in Comm (I’m sorry about that. While that may change, so help me. It happened.) I had towards the end of my college life. There I was, having my own little accolades, while everyone else was getting more recognition than I ever would because I was such a late bloomer. Because I let myself be too stupid and I didn’t walk through the open doors that lay in front of me at the time.

Now, in the academe, I still have the pressure of proving myself. Only this time, the emptiness is not kicking in. It’s not a factor. Maybe I wouldn’t be the one to write the next great dissertation on Kant, but for me, I need only prove my mettle by doing my best. I need not set any yardsticks outside of myself, unlike how it has been in Communications. I can write, but I wasn’t exactly Raul Locsin material (It’s not like I was ever in the Guidon to begin with…). I can do advertising, but it was one of those things that came naturally (Runs in the family…), but I didn’t really harp on enough for it to become my ace in the hole. I can do public relations, but again, I didn’t harp on it enough. I can broadcast, and aside from my voice (Which I’m working on.), that’s still an option I want to take. I can handle a lot of things Comm-related, but excel at them? Ha! I needed to find a standard to gauge myself, and barring grades, I never really was up to snuff with any of those potential yardsticks, and that single actual gauge.

I’m hitting a crossroad in my life where I have to talk it over with certain people, heart-to-heart, in person. Where do I really stand? Truth be told, the vagueness, and the undefined moments are simply killing me. Much as I would like to just go and do something about my state, I know I can’t, without having talked it over rationally. I wouldn’t want to do anything rash that I would regret even more than I would regret the status quo. I don’t want to go through my life with questions that could be answered simply hanging over my head. All this ambiguity, all this pain I inadvertently put myself through with my false glimmers of hope, simply because I refuse to open my eyes to the reality that while I was never one to say never, there are just some things that hurt too much to pin any hopes upon. But I guess that really wouldn’t matter much now, would it?

In the end, I have to find some way to deal with it. One way or another.

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