Sunday, March 28, 2004

In My Life Medley
by Aiza Seguerra

There are places I remember
All my life
Though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone
And some remain

Though I know I'll never ever lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life
I loved you more

Though the music is sweet
But the song ain't complete
Now in my life
Boy, in my life
Somethin' is missing

It's a tune, yes it's true
Still there's no me and you
Here in my life
Boy, in my life
Somethin' is missing

In my life
There ain't no melody, oh no
In my life
There ain't no harmony
To help me sing a song

Oh the music is sweet
(There are places I remember)
But the song ain't complete
Now in my life
(All my life)

Somethin' is missing
(Though some have changed)
It's a tune, yes it's true
(Some forever, not for better)

Still there's no me and you
(And some have gone)
Here in my life
Somethin' is missing
(And some remain)

In my life there ain't no melody oh no
(All these places have their moments)
(With lovers and friends)
(I still can recall)

In my life there ain't no harmony
(Some are dead and some are living)
To help me sing this song
(In my life)
(I loved them all)

All I need is a cue
Well, I'm waiting for you
Here in my life
(But of all these friends and lovers)
Boy in my life
(There is no one compares with you)
You are the melody (melody)

'Cause in my life
(In my life)
(I know I'll often stop and think about them)

You are the song
(I loved you more)

You are the melody to me
(I loved you more)

Baby, in my life
(I loved you more)

You are the song...
(I loved you more...)

You must enjoy rending people's hearts, Ms. Seguerra, for finding the perfect melody to haunt my soul. Here are two songs that simply hit me hard, and I still can't get up from it... I thought I'd find a catharsis from this, and yet the tears refuse to fall, and the pain just keeps on coming.

Now, the third person kicks in. It simply can't be avoided... but just refer to My Livejournal for part of the post, if you give a damn about it. I don't want to impose all the sadness upon you... let the unsent letters suffice if you choose. :)

.:Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda: The Unsent Series, Part IX:.

Indeed, "Shoulda, coulda, woulda" are the last words of a fool. I guess that's exactly what I am...

Dear Torch,

You and Marcelle never really spoke to each other when we had the chance. And yet he knows that he truly is happy for you. With each passing moment, the pain somehow overwhelms him. Much as he would want to ignore it, much as he would want to say that where you both stand is something he is content with, the pain gets in the way of how he wishes to regard you. He don?t want to wake up one day, bitter over having invested so much of himself into being a good friend to you. He don?t want to drown in bitterness over someone who doesn?t deserve it just because she has an inexplicable effect on Marcelle when the memories come crashing in.

Maybe you both can talk, Torch. Marcelle hopes that wherever your respective paths may lead you, you and he can work this out, as you both always have. God knows he doesn't want to say goodbye to this friendship you have shared for the longest time.


Dear Revelation,

It's amazing how you've become a welcome and most valued part of Marcelle's day. At the last possible minute, you just came into his life like a flash of lightning on a sunning morning, and he can't help but be caught off guard. It's just sad that he never had enough time to get to know you better, and the race against time is very clear indeed...

Marcelle recognizes that you haven?t really known each other for so long, and so he has no right to expect to be able to count on you when despair comes and swallows him whole, leaving him without anyone to speak to, without anyone to turn to. Much as Marcelle would want to trust you, he has to ask for your forgiveness, but he feels that you are not yet willing to accept the measure of trust that this man would have, knowing his mentality of ?D.T.A.?

And so now he's bereft of a chance to see you one last time when it should matter, as is the case with one of your friends. An immense rush of regret flows into Marcelle, and unlike you, moving on without any resolution simply does nothing for him. Rest assured that he won't want to place such a burden on you, though. He doesn?t want to make you feel like he's unloading any angst on you. Marcelle doesn?t want to make you feel as though he were assuming you?re already close when it?s your prerogative and not his to say so.

You remind Marcellee so much of a special mentor he has. She?d always have a fond place in his heart for all the help she has given him, and for all the memories they have shared. Marcelle would like to think that you, a completely different person, in spite of the similarities, are someone whom he would gladly consider as a great friend, and a wonderful person to confide unto. But that choice remains with you, lest he shoots himself in the foot yet again.


Dear Moonshine,

Marcelle doesn?t know what to say. He cannot help but feel an extreme amount of guilt for not having gone out of his way to search for you and make you feel better when he had the opportunity. Marcelle was too busy hoping in futility that things would turn out well for him where he stood, and yet there you are.

Marcelle cannot blame you if you feel a bit intimidated by his affection for you. After all, you might misconstrue it as a way for him to transcend the Divine, but you both know he cannot just do that. Not while the Divine and he are as one. Marcelle wishes that you can find someone worth showering your moonshine upon, for he realizes that in all likelihood, even if the circumstances were different, that cannot be him. Nobody who knew him ever really appreciated me in that way. Marcelle was either always this funny friend of theirs, or this extremely brainy tool they had to get ahead in studies from time to time. It?s as though ?Marcelle? were a brand name for an encyclopedia. You were one of the few who appreciated him as more than that: as a good friend, even. Yet like him enough to regard upon him the Blue accolade? Ah, that is but wishful thinking.

If Marcelle were to love another, it could?ve very well been you. But Marcelle is not so inclined to love another at this point in his life. Regardless, he believes it was worth pointing this fact out to you, although he highly doubts that you would realize that he speaks of you, unlike the far more perceptive Scarred, for whom this letter could seemingly follow, all the same.

Godspeed to you, Moonshine.

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