Monday, March 29, 2004

.:A Missed Opportunity:.

Somewhere far away, Abby is enjoying herself right now, and I can’t help but be filled with a lot of sadness because before she left, the perfect opportunity presented itself to me for me to capitalize upon it. I should’ve known better. I should’ve pounced on the chance when I had it. But foolish mortal that I am, Abby would be completely oblivious to what I have to say, lest somewhere within her, the thought likewise occurs. Maybe she’d even feel for once what I had inside of me that I should’ve told her.

Yes, it’s been eight years of having known Abby, but this two week vacation she is taking was something that should’ve been a turning point, yet here I am, completely regretting how slow I was to have not acted upon the chance before it was too late. Now, all I could do is wait for her, and perhaps shatter the little chance that I had before she left. If I only had a remote shot at getting my point across and realizing its fruits before she left, I now have to rely on her own perception, and the risk that she may not really think much of me is quite a grand risk that imposes itself upon me.

But I will still endeavor in it, regardless of the consequences. I will wait for her for two mere weeks. When that opportunity arises, albeit not as perfect, not as timely as two weeks prior, I will still walk up to her with all confidence. I will look sincerely into her eyes, and smile at her genuinely. And then I will tell her what I so wanted to tell her before she left for the states for those two weeks…


Yes, I will venture. Yes, I will try. For it is worth it.

.:Cryptic To The Very End:.

This is where you would rather be when someone like Mr. Calassanz intimidates you with his mere presence:

Mr. Calassanz will always be an enigma to me. He will always be a mystery I can’t quite comprehend, much less elucidate for myself. It’s quite intimidating to be around him, really. This is the man who has had urban legends about him spread all over campus like wildfire, and with each year, people are treated to the “Why not?” anecdote about him, which apparently never happened. What’s even more unnerving about him is how he seems to be reading your mind every single time he looks at you, yet you have no idea what he’s thinking at the same moment.

With that being said, I can’t believe I didn’t bring this up during my graduation recall post. He was one of the teachers I approached after graduation, and after the requisite congratulations, I simply told him, “Hope to see you soon.”

Mr. Calassanz, in all his pomp and aura of superiority…

… laughed.

… and laughed.

… and laughed some more.

I have no idea if he was laughing at me because I’ve been taking such a long road just to end up teaching (Hopefully.), or if he’s laughing at me as if to tell me that I’m not going to be teaching anytime soon, or if he’s laughing with me over my graduating, or if he was just laughing for the sake of laughing. I really don’t. Mr. Calassanz was, without a doubt, being cryptic. Either that, or I was just being paranoid.

Whatever happens, I still have to give Mr. Calasanz credit where credit is due. That time that he said, “Magpaka-ugat ka.” to me was a moment where I had to figure out just what he meant. I don’t know if teaching Philosophy is what he wanted to convey to me, but I know this is what I want that to mean to me. I’d like to think that in spite of the influences, I still chose this on my own. Ergo, I’m not betraying two years of Philosophical instruction on the nature of freedom…


Just in case it pushes through, the 2bU interview I transcribed for you jabronis last week might come out this Wednesday. In any case, it wouldn’t be anything my readers haven’t seen before, excluding Melissa’s byline and the newsprint…

.:The Pipe Dream Of Stardom:.

I’m sure some people would scoff at the idea that I’d go and be a commercial model. I myself scoff at it from time to time. Still, I noticed an increasing amount of people asking me if I wanted to be a television star or something to that effect. Just today, as I was going down from the MRT, headed to the Ateneo for my job interview with Fr. Que, this is what happened…

Random Guy 1: Hey, do you want to be on Channel 2?

Marcelle: Nope. I already have a contract (Obviously a lie.).

And then, when I was walking towards the U.P. Campus jeepney, another guy walks up to me…

Random Guy 2: Do you want to go to Japan?

Marcelle: No (Another lie, but I don’t think he meant go there and watch anime, or hang around with hot Japanese girls…).

What is it with these people? ::laughs:: I do like the attention, but I really can’t commit myself to those full time, which is why the first and only time I bit a potential contract offer is with Mr. Regis, who is less of a TV scout and more of a commercial model scout. I can handle being a commercial model, as it’s not as hectic as being a TV personality, and once again, I have to reiterate: I don’t intend to count my chickens before my eggs hatch. Until I sign that contract, I expect nothing.

With that being said, I spoke to my dentist about my braces this morning, and she says it’d take me at least six months before they can take it off. That’s pretty long, but what I’m hoping is that Mr. Regis wouldn’t mind if I went for ceramic braces instead, so that they wouldn’t be as noticeable as the regular ones happen to be… but whatever, neh? It’s not like I’d ever expect to make it big in this particular industry, right?

.:The Job Interview:.

I was never one to count my chickens before my eggs hatch (That line again?), but I really have a good feeling about my chances of being a teaching assistant for Fr. Que. He was referring to me as though I already had the job for the most part, telling me to take 9 units instead of 6 because his load for me will be fairly light, among other things he was recommending to me, such as getting certain readings, asking about prerequisites I ought to take, and the like. I don’t want to be presumptuous, but it seemed Fr. Que was already talking to me as though I already got the job.

However, if I do have the job, it wouldn’t be until the first semester of this schoolyear, which leaves my summer open for a roma… I mean, a job. Maybe a prosperity dance every night or something. Seriously, I would want to do that summer workshop Elbert was offering me to teach. Ah, well. We’ll see how that pans out. Fr. Que was very nice, though, and I like the way he put his lack of a need to rely on his teaching assistants when he teaches: people paid good money for HIM, not his T.A.

If I get the job, I’ll be with him on his class more or less every Tuesdays and Thursdays, 10:30 AM -12:00 NN. Those who’re taking Philo 104 might want to take his class, knowing the little favor I do at the end of each semester… ::winks::

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