.:It’s Single Awareness Day Tomorrow:.

Happy Valentine's Day
by: Trina Belamide

It's Valentine's Day again
Chocolates and roses, dinner by candelight
But not for everybody
There'll be three less roses given away tonight
'Cause Jimmy's girl got on a plane
He tried to stop her from leaving but tried in vain
And he'd hand her three roses now
But she lives so far away
To a lonely heart, how does one say
Happy Valentine's Day

It's Valentine's Day again
Long-time lovers lighting the fire once more
But it's gonna be cold tonight
For someone whose lover walked right out the door
See, Anna's fighting back the tears
Broke up with her beau for nine long years
And she's throwing her dreams of walking down the aisle away
To a broken heart, how does one say
Happy Valentine's Day

Cruel, oh so cruel
Be with your lover and be glad
And if you're without a lover
Well, that's just too bad
Cruel, oh so cruel
No other day like this
Can make you long so much
For the one you miss

It's Valentine's Day again
Jay's got the flowers, but somehow it's not the same
Though he knows April's happy
'Cause all he can do is set them on her grave
It's been two years since she passed on
But somehow the pain still lingers on
And no other day can magnify it like this day
To a grieving heart, how does one say
Happy Valentine's Day

How do you say
Happy Valentine's Day

The song haunts me to the core of my being. It’s one of those songs that simply stands out to me as something that really elicits an emotional response from me, if only for the sheer poignancy of the message it sends out. The irony/sarcasm of the whole song is used to create a rather unique effect that makes you feel weak inside.

This year, Single Awareness Day is preceded by Friday the 13th, and the cynic in me simply makes me realize that maybe this is a sign of things to come. I was never a romantic person, and I really do not believe that love should be given added emphasis on any particular day, when it should be given added emphasis every single day. As far as the general, non-romantic idea of love goes, it really is never enough, as Hanson used to sing. I’m not exactly uber-jaded, but I don’t exactly have that much hopes that we’d be running around happy and loving, any time soon. This goofy love-love feeling is just that: a goofy feeling. It has no permanence, it is not a settled state of character, and the only way for it to be otherwise is for you to work on it. Religiously.

So here’s that cold shower to your warm, fuzzy thoughts about Single Awareness Day. It truly is S.A.D. Much as I’d want to crank up the mush machine, it just won’t work for this jabroni. Maybe because he really doesn’t feel compelled to bring an emotion to the fore merely for the sake of a dead saint when it should be brought up more often on its own in the first place.

Love should be a means and an end in itself. Love begets love. It puzzles Marcelle to no end why this simply concept is never really grasped by people. If you love well, then love well. If you don’t, then stop using Valentine’s day as an excuse to make a pitiful 24-hour attempt. This is one of those overrated holidays that just ends up making a lot of people feel pretty bitter as the day approaches. I guess the acronym is just perfect. Single Awareness Day: S.A.D.

.:A Lost Opportunity:.

In spite of having no less than five teachers (Guess how many teachers I have this sem. Hint: it rhymes with live.) this semester whom I could actually do impressions of, this has been the only sem out of the last four wherein I was unable to do an impression of my prof. It would’ve been fun doing a Mr. Dy-Liaco accent if I were to do a voice over for our Theology project, but never mind. I could imitate Atty. Perez, but then, I’m not sure if he takes too kindly to that. At the same time, Fr. Nick is easy meat to do impressions of, but there’s never an opportunity for that (And I’m still missing one paper I submitted to him. I have no idea where it is, so I might have to write it over from memory.). I really don’t find anything noteworthy enough with Ms. Salvador for me to impersonate, though I know I can do the things she does when she’s listening to someone recite.

With that being said, there was one professor I had no less than two opportunities to do an impression of yesterday, yet I was unable to capitalize on it. The first one was when he didn’t enter the classroom early enough, and I was standing around the place, talking to people. The second was when he left after distributing our quizzes, which was about a good five minutes for me to have done an impression of him. Ah, well. It would’ve been funny, but I’m sure a lot of people have already seen me do that. I’m talking about Mr. Bulaong, of course, whom I must’ve been imitating more than enough times, although always half-heartedly. My best impression that wasn’t half-hearted and really stuck to more than just one mannerism had to be Dr. Barbazza. All that sitting on the table and German randomness was what cinched it for me. Too bad the Doc didn’t get it.

Anyways, it was my last Philosophy class for my college life yesterday, and Mr. Bulaong was wrapping up the four categorical imperatives already. I didn’t try to hide my disdain over any attempts of Arthur to steer the discussion anywhere beyond Kant. If for instance, he started questioning the possibility of the existence of a Kingdom of Ends, I’d promptly pipe up and say that it’s an ideal we’re striving for, not necessarily achieving instantaneously. If we were stuck in a part of the lecture, to prevent a lull, I’d answer the issue that Mr. Bulaong wants to have answered. I was clearly being overbearing to some extent, but it was for the best, as we covered all the things we needed to cover about Kant, as well as the fact that we managed to partially answer the tenth thesis statement, which was merely an elaboration of the third categorical imperative.

On autonomy:

Mr. Bulaong: You are the one obliging yourself to follow your moral duty. This is the fruit of your autonomy. You are not heteronomous, and any law hat others may place upon you, you appropriate as your own, still upholding your autonomy.

Marcelle: Kumbaga, pinahihirapan mo ang sarili mo? (In other words, you’re making things harder on yourself?) ::class laughs at this::

Mr. Bulaong: Not really. Kumbaga, ikaw ang sarili mong boss. (Not really. In other words, you are your own boss.)

Mr. Bulaong was tossing some barbs at me again, such as how “sick and tired” he was when he realized that I was his student again at the start of the semester. It was all cool, considering how I really contributed decently to class this time, although Mich was insinuating I was setting my eyes on one of the girls in our class, who I felt bore a resemblance to ma’am Sining Tanedo (Although that doesn’t mean I like her.)… ah, well. That, plus Annie and Mich are teaming up, insisting that I have stalker talents. I think I’d relegate that distinction to Charles instead. Heh.

Still, when Arthur kept on harping on the impossibility of Kant’s Kingdom of Ends, I do believe Mr. Bulaong’s “shut-out” statement not only put him in his place but really made me consider my own brand of cynicism as well…

Mr. Bulaong: Arthur, bakit ayaw mong umasa? (Arthur, why don’t you want to hope?)

Yeah, Arthur: why don’t you?

And yeah, Marcelle: why don’t you?

And maybe you should start pondering: if you follow your moral laws, the ones your will yourself legislates, how can you be more free than the Hedon who caters to his every whim and fancy without regard for any moral duty?

.:I Wish I Befriended Her Sooner:.

Cami is one of those people I immensely enjoy hearing from and conversing with. She’s a very witty and funny person whom I can’t help but enjoy helping out when she has problems with her Theology or Philosophy. I swear, she is a gem of a friend that I only wish I befriended sooner. Ah, well. There’ll be more time for that, I guess…

We talked a bit about her Philosophy paper, and I hope I was able to help her make up an outline for the sacrament of reconciliation. And yeah, I think she had quite a laugh recalling how Arthur justified auto-eroticism in class. She obviously disagrees. Of course, such is naturally something any female would rarely confess to, but I digress. It’s not my job to pry.

But I have inadvertently exposed my ultimate plan of domination to her: that in addition to my teaching gig which I hope to acquire, and my potential attempt at being a graveyard shift DJ in RX, I will have to also have a night job, just to keep up with the high salaries everyone else will be getting. And clearly, that is for me to work really really hard in Adonis. If you don’t know what Adonis is, good for you. And don’t ask. Nonetheless, I have the equipment for it, don’t I? I mean with a bit of bulking up, I know I can really make it big there…

Better yet, I’d go for Chico’s. I heard the pay is much, much higher there. That ought to get me somewhere.

Seriously, people like Cami make me feel I may just be able to hack being a teacher. Mr. Bulaong was already anticipating that I’d be writing the answers to the thesis statements, so I guess he’s no longer astonished by the effort. I’ve been trying to let my Philo classmates know about my weblog, but I guess most of them would be too caught up right now to know about it by now. I just hope that those who do check it out would appreciate it…

.:Addendum:.

I ran into Mr. Callasanz again today.

Mr. Callasanz: O, Marcelle! Kumusta ka? (O, Marcelle! How are you?)

Marcelle: I'm fine, sir. I'm working on my Philo thesis statements right now. I'm answering them on my website.

Mr. Callasanz: Ang tsimis sa iyo ngayon, gusto mo raw mag-Philo? (The rumors about you right now are that you want to teach Philosophy?)

Marcelle: Yes.

Mr. Callasanz: Pagkahaba-haba ng prusisyon, dun din ang bagsak. (What a long procession, and you still end up there.)

Marcelle: Pero sir, ayoko magsalita ng tapos. Who knows, I might end up somewhere else all of a sudden. At least, I'm pretty sure that the option is open. (But sir, I don't want to speak once and for all. Who knows, I might end up somewhere else all of a sudden. At least, I'm pretty sure that the option is open.)

Who knows where this will lead to next, neh?