.:The Top Five:.

Next week’s Top Five: The Top Five Ways To Tell Your Parents You’re Getting Married

This week…

The Top Five Famous Last Words:

5. “What do you mean I’m wearing a backpack?”, said the sky-diver.
4. “You know what, Ken Shamrock? You’re a ninny!”
3. “Stop! Stop! I want to get on! Why are these weird-looking cabs so dumb?”, said the man flagging down a train while standing in the tracks.
2. “Wait. Let me light a match. There. What does the sign say? Oh. ‘Danger! Explosives.’”
1. “Don’t worry. Reticulated pythons aren’t poisonous. Here. Come closer.”