.:Top Five!:.

Next week's Top Five: The Top Five Famous Last Words ("I hate FPJ," said he, looking the leader of the human chain straight in the eye.)

This week...

The Top Five Useless Bargains:

5. They're selling a parachute for only two hundred pesos! The catch? It opens upon impact.
4. They're selling a Nokia 6600 for only one thousand pesos, with a long-life battery! The catch? It runs on Motolite.
3. They're selling a generator for only three hundred pesos! The catch? It's 220V.
2. They're selling HerBench brassieres for only twenty pesos! The catch? At night, they turn into hands.
1. They're selling Eye-Mo for only two pesos! The catch? Roll-on.