Tuesday, March 04, 2003

This is a total filler post that you can bypass if you want. I just think I need to make use of this blog as a "Pensieve" at this moment so that issues like this are out of my head... for the time being, at least.

Who am I? You sure you want to know?

*Jumps into character...*

Marcelle Fabie has been around here in this bloody planet for 19 arduous years. He admits to being one of the most heelish characters you will prolly ever meet, and that's not exactly something to be proud of. Yes, he's a nice guy to some extent, but until recently, he's been trying way too hard to belong. Trying way too hard to click with people. It happend with Abby. It happened with Addy. To some extent, it happened with Sacha. It happened with OB. most recently, it happened with (I'm torn whether or not to mention her name, but I may as well... I hope this doesn't aggravate things any further.) Maia. Obviously, this is not an exhaustive list.

That's sad, because Marcelle merely wanted to be a good friend. But good intentions never justify actions. Not in his opinon, at least. He's managed to patch a few of these things up, but it's obvious that there are some scars that will take time to heal, or scars that never will. On the other hand, there are some that refuse to patch things up, while others require some more time and thought.

Marcelle has been one of the most ravaged victims of rejection. High School life would be his best testament to this, but he's elaborated on it so many times, it doesn't need any more explanations. High School life was hell for him. No doubt about it. To this day, rarely can he actually walk around with a bunch of people he would call "His Group". It just isn't the case.

Marcelle is a jaded romantic. He gave up on the idea of romance, and at that very moment, he ended up being with a wonderful person. Grace has been his girlfriend for three years, and the end is far from sight. Right now, Grace is prolly the one person who still makes the idea of romance tolerable.

Do what you must, but NEVER cross Marcelle. Unlike most people, he doesn't have a care for karma, and would really pull out all the stops to make your life miserable. Think the Kingpin minus murder, but everything in between. That's the idea. Marcelle has had his share of adversaries he has struck at in this manner. Forget fistfights and other paltry, temporal forms of suffering. The Phenom's Fury® is something that you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy. Fortunately, Marcelle will prolly not unleash something like that upon you for crossing him directly. It happens when people hurt the people he considers dear to him. Oh... murder might not be in the list, but... we never know, do we? These ruthless characteristics in times of need are the very things that make Marcelle the deceptive heel that he is.

Is Marcelle so evil, then? By Hades, no! Since when have you seen him cuss in this blog (Not that it proves anything about his being a nice guy, really...)? Seriously, there's no reason to be afraid of him, so long as he gets along with you...

*Jumps out of character.*

I don't think my life is really as bad as it seems. While I have had a lot of tragedies in life, I don't think these tragedies have made me a twisted, bitter person. If anything, my strength came from withstanding the worst of times in my meager existence.

Philosophy has been a major influence in my changing outlook. Indeed, I can say for certain that given an invitation to teach it, I will no doubt jump at the opportunity. Lately, I have been in greater control of my thoughts and emotions, and Philosophy had a lot to do with it. God has been good to me.

So now, who am I? At this point of my unconcealedness, I can say that I cannot define myself as ultimately as I would want to. There are some changes I still am undertaking to make things better... if only certain people would actually read this... maybe they'd realize...

Obviously, this post will disappear by the end of the week, at the latest. I don't think thoughts like these are healthy in this blog, and I don't think this serves any conceivable purpose for anyone, either. It's just my point of view on how my life has been in shorthand, as of late...

Bah Gawd, I just want some peace of mind when this schoolyear ends...

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