Unsent

.:Dying:.

I know the song sounds like food to some, but this song by Five For Fighting just hits me right here... it's dead-on with how I feel.

Dying
by Five For Fighting

I'm Dying, Dying to wake up without you, without you in my head again
I'm Dying, Dying to forget about you, that you ever lived
There's a shade come over this heart that's coping with laying down to rest
I'm Dying to live without you again

I'm Dying, Dying to find a distraction, get you away from me
 I'm Dying, Dying to reach a conclusion, so that the world can see
It's the same old story of love and glory that broke before it bent
 I'm Dying to live without you again

The first time you left I said goodbye
Now there's not a prayer that can survive

Dying, Dying to die just to come back so we can meet again
Dying, Dying to say what I always should have said
It's a strange emotion this but there's still hope in this
As long as there's a breath...
I'm Dying and I can't live without you again

It's a strange emotion this but there's still hope in this
 As long as there's a breath...
I'm Dying and I can't live without you
I'm Dying and I can't live without you again

.:The Sunbringer's Burden: The Unsent Series, Part X:.

Dear Brilliance, Dear Argonauts,

Marcelle concedes defeat. You just have no idea how hard it is to smile when the tears are welling up in your eyes. You just have no idea how hard it is to stay strong because you expect no less but your personal bright ray of sunshine from him. But if that's what'll make you happy, then so be it.

You win, Brilliance. You win, Argonauts. Marcelle can only deny himself a chance to frown, a chance to wear a long face, and instead put on a smile and be the one to chase away your cloudy days. After all, Marcelle was always good for a laugh. That's all he was ever really good for.

You win, Brilliance. You win, Argonauts. While all of you blaze the trail, Marcelle stays here, with a knowing look, willing you on to excellence. It's a wonder how clueless you are to what he asks for in return when he practically gets down on his knees for it. But that's Marcelle being weak. You don’t want that. That's impossible. Marcelle is supposed to make you smile. He's supposed to make your day and ask for nothing in return. Marcelle is supposed to be everything except human when it comes to you.

You win, Brilliance. You win, Argonauts. Marcelle is backing off lest he compromises his friendship with you. Brilliance, you're smarter, you're more popular, you're more lovable than Marcelle can ever hope to be. Argonauts, you've got far closer friends within your circle than Marcelle can ever hope to have. Ultimately, Brilliance, ultimately, Argonauts: you're better human beings than Marcelle can ever hope to be. Marcelle was merely deluding himself that he was really close to any of you. It's just an illusion. Everything's just an illusion.

You win, Brilliance. You win, Argonauts. Marcelle isn't everything you want, much less need. But he's always a bit useful, isn't he? In the end, though, he means nothing to you. An insignificant speck... the irksome stain in the underwear of life.

You win, Brilliance. You win, Argonauts. Marcelle refuses to lash out at any of you. Because he wants you to be happy. He'd rather that he gets hurt,than he be the cause of your distress. He doesn't want to emotionally blackmail you, either. Yet, why the denial? Was he really that abhorrent to you? Dammit, what does it take, Brilliance? What does it take, Argonauts?

And so Marcelle holds the revolver in his hand again, and pulls the trigger. Empty, as always. And he will do this again tomorrow.

You win, Brilliance. You win, Argonauts. And Marcelle, as always, is the big loser.